Courtesy YouTubeCam Newton, look what you've done to society.
Okay, fine, so the football player didn't invent the dance himself, but he certainly helped bring it into popularity. When millions of viewers see him on TV every week performing what has become his signature dance move, it makes them want to try it out too. And boy have they ever tried it out.
Everyone from celebrities to (previously) esteemed and respected politicians have dabbed. Rashida Jones dabbed on Jimmy Fallon. Betty White gave it a try. Even Hillary Clinton and Ellen DeGeneres felt the need to dab. It spared no one, except our country's youngest and most innocent citizens. Or so we thought.
Last night was the much-anticipated annual Scripps National Spelling Bee. Every year it's a beautiful display of budding young minds; our nation's bright future on stage for all to see. Children from far and wide gather to flex their spelling muscles, taking on totally insane words that most grown adults have never heard of, let alone knowing how to spell them.
This year's contestants took on words like "Feldenkrais" (a system of aided body movements), "mischsprache" (a language) and "bailliage" (the authority of a medieval officer). It seemed that the evening would again be a positive, life-affirming occasion. But then the Dab happened.
That's right, the Dab. Apparently children these days think that appearing on a national spelling bee is akin to scoring a touchdown in the NFL, because they celebrated their correct spellings the exact same way. Spell "condignly" correctly? Do the dab. Get "bathos" right? Do the dab. All night long it was dab, dab, dab. Don't believe us? See for yourself.
We take this moment to declare the Dab officially over. It can become no more pervasive, and it has no more to offer our society. It's been a good run.