Getty ImagesSweet demi-glace radicchio with a side of duck breast!
Anthony Bourdain, you may or may not need to look in that bathroom mirror and check yourself, boo. We love you and your salty-ass sass, but it looks like your Guy Fieri-bashing days are coming back to bite you in your saucy pork butt.
By now you've heard about the emotional food fight between the two kings of the kitchen. In a candied nutshell, Bourdain's been verbally prodding the bleach-tipped Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives host for some time, causing Fieri to finally boil over and give Bourdain The Taste of his own medicine.
(How moving are these food puns, by the way?)
We're big fans of the both of them, but for very different reasons. While Fieri makes us nostalgic for JNCO jeans and Oreo cream, Bourdain has the courage of his convictions that we're striving for as we ascend the rungs of adulthood. In other words, Fieri's the pumpkin-spiced pleasure we line up for on Oct. 1 while Bourdain is the bitter, frothy cappuccino we look cool drinking but we desperately want to add sugar to.
The truth of the matter, as we have uncovered, is these two men are not as different as the two of them presumably like to think that they are. But don't take our word for it—take theirs.
We compiled a list of quotes* from each of the fiery foodies so you can play a little game of who said what. The proof is in the passion fruit pudding: these two are more alike than they'd ever admit:
(*Answers down below)
1. "An ounce of sauce covers a multitude of sins."
2. "I could eat bloody Elvis if you put enough vinegar on him."
3. "There's a free angioplasty that will go with this pizza."
4. "Wow, look at those little biscuits of friendship."
5. "Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride."
6. "As soon as you wanna take away the flavor of anything, just fry it."
See what we mean?! Pretty hard to tell who said what, amiright? Their thoughts are practically on the same wavelength! Prepare to be shocked out of your decorative Thanksgiving gourd. These answers are a whole cornucopia of WTF that only prove these two would secretly get along.
1. Anthony Bourdain. How is this answer not Guy Fieri!?
2. Anthony Bourdain. See above reaction.
3. Guy Fieri. Props to Guy for using the word "angioplasty" in a sentence. We thought it was some sort of side dish.
4. Guy Fieri. Okay, maybe this one was too easy.
5. Anthony Bourdain. Girl, what!? How are these two not hugging it out in the parking lot of Denny's right now?
6. Guy Fieri. SHOCKER. Clearly such snobbery could only be said by Mr. Bourdain, right? False. Did Guy Fieri just admit he doesn't like fried food!? BYE.
Bros. Put aside your differences over a piece of pecan pie already! Yeesh.
How do you feel knowing that these two aren't actually that different? Share your spiraling thoughts in the comments!
Oh, snap! Hear Anthony give Paula Deen a piece of his mind!