Yagi Studio/Getty Images
Yagi Studio/Getty Images
Happy National Coffee Day, everyone! For some, coffee is a caffeinated drink that you enjoy drinking. For others, coffee is the lifeblood that keeps us from lashing out at anyone and everyone in the morning, thus getting fired and/or jailed. Regardless of what this beverage is to you, you probably want to celebrate this joyous holiday.
To do that, the E! Online team wrote love letters to coffee, and they are nothing short of passionate. We love coffee so much. If it was a person, we would have married it a long time ago. Or at the very least we would have had the decency to never say "new number who dis?" when it texted us.
We know it's not much, dear, sweet coffee. But please accept our love letters as a token of our appreciation:
If I could hook you directly to my veins, I would. You never judge me for loading you with sweetener and way too much Peppermint Mocha creamer. You are there for me in traffic jams so I don't just start rear-ending people and you are there on Sunday mornings to give me energy so I can scream at my football team. I wish you were a human so I could hug you intimately every single day.
My dearest dark-roasted darling,
You understand me when no other human being wants to be within five feet of me, when I'm grumpy and tired and can't understand why the sun is already up.
You're there for me when the college papers and exams become a landslide that I can't outpace and I just need something to take the pain away.
You're there for me when I start passive-aggressively doing my housemates' dishes (because we both know they can't handle those themselves).
But most of all, coffee, you're my best and only friend when all I want to do is spend my weekend wrapped in a blanket watching Netflix like some kind of cave-dwelling recluse.
I may just dump my boyfriend for you.
Love (and way too much dependence), Cameron
I Love You Coffee: a Haiku
I love you coffee,
You bring such joy and relief,
Without you I'm sad.
Where do we begin? From the early high school days, before I knew what I was doing and my coffee required flavored syrups and whipped cream, to realizing that my favorite part of college was coffee shop culture, when one café au lait would keep me revved up all morning through poly sci discussion…to the double-shot all-nighters…to now, when no day has really started until that first cup of coffee—cream, no sugar—has been consumed…
What a ride. You were, and remain, the best.
Roses are red, violets are blue
I love coffee because it makes me poo
But it also has lots of other good qualities
Like keeping me awake when I have to go to parties
I have no favorite, whether Starbucks or Dunkin'
As long as they serve me my white girl pumpkin
Pumpkin in the morning, pumpkin in the evening
Now if you'll excuse me, my heart won't stop beating
We first met in college and I haven't looked back since. I like you iced. I like you hot. I like you in my hand, always. Thank you for the late nights. The early mornings. The happiness. The endless joy. There aren't enough Taylor Swift lyrics in the world to describe you. You make the long lines at Starbucks worth it.
Happy anniversary, coffee. I love you.
Coffee starts my day
Need a cup when I wake up
Thanks for being there
In the last decade there have been maybe four mornings that I haven't had a giant mug of java to wake me up…and those mornings were hell. Without my beloved black brew each and every day, I wouldn't be the person I am today (and every day). Today, I salute you caffeine-packed golden goodness for giving me the strength to tolerate 50% more people each morning. For snapping at idiots 50% less of the time. For saving me 25 eye rolls per day. I would give up pretty much anything for you <3
Roses are red, violets are blue, if I drink too much of you, you make me poo.
I'm a former barista, and though I'm no longer paid to be around coffee, my passion for it has never diminished--it has only grown. In fact, my OkCupid username incorporates my love for coffee into it. Seriously. It says (My Name) LovesCoffee. So even though I don't have *real* love from any godforsaken dating sites, I have my love for coffee. Thanks for being there, coffee. When I'm still on Tinder after my biological clock quits ticking, I'll still have you... and that means a lot.
To my brewed boo,
You are the first thing I think of in the morning, and my strongest craving around 3 pm. Your smooth, rich and creamy taste consumes my mind and keeps me coming back for more. You lift my eyelids when they're down, and give me that extra push when all I wanna do is nap under my desk. Thank you for supporting me and always giving me a delicious start to my day. I wouldn't be able to get through this life without you. Well, I would. Just half asleep with a migraine. Anyway, I love you, coffee. I truly do.
WE LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER COFFEE. NEVER LEAVE US!