Bartenders...you love to hate 'em, amirite?
Sure, they bring you the magical nectar of the gods when you don't feel like mixing or pouring or popping a cork. But they can also be, like, super mean. We've all gotten that look of scorn when we order that vodka-soda-with-a-splash-of-cranberry at one time or another. Or, God forbid, a round of lemon drop shots. Shudder.
But it turns out that all that aforementioned scorn is totally warranted. Because we, the customers, have been behaving like total boobs for way too long. There are certain rules that must be followed in a sacred space such as a bar, and we've been breaking all of them. Playboy gathered some super fancy bartenders from the far reaches of the country (Nashville, Los Angeles, etc.) to explain everything that we're doing wrong in one hilarious video.
So if you want to continue to piss off your bartender, it's actually totally simple. Just follow these five steps!
1. Snap. A lot. Your bartender loves to feel like a herd of animals you are trying to corral.
2. Ask for your drink to be "not too sweet." You may as well as for a drink that "doesn't suck."
3. Begin your order by saying, "What's good?" Nothing, ma'am. You're actually at the worst bar in America and there isn't one good thing here.
4. Roll up to the bar with your whole crew...your bartender already hates you.
5. But, if you want to make it worse, don't be ready to order at all. Or order one drink at a time with a bunch of discussions and questions in between.
As one video participant reminded us, "I can be your best friend or I can be the biggest dick you've ever met." Ain't that the truth.