2015 Emmys Red Carpet Quotes: ''Farts and Drunkenness,'' ''Idiot Hookers,'' ''Masturbating,'' ''Bikram Emmys'' and More!

E! News is catching up with all your favorite stars on the red carpet!

By Kendall Fisher Sep 20, 2015 10:55 PMTags
Taraji P. Henson, Laverne Cox, Amy Poehler, Emmy Awards 2015Mark Davis/Getty Images

The 67th Annual Emmy Awards have kicked off with the opening of a very, very hot red carpet at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles.

In just over two hours, the star-studded ceremony will officially begin (we're hoping no one's makeup sweats off before that!), but while we wait, E! hosts Giuliana Rancic and Ryan Seacrest will  be chatting with celebs like Taraji P. Henson, Mindy Kaling, Amy Schumer, Laverne Cox, Sarah Hyland and more!

You better believe after a morning full of champagne brunches and pre-celebrations, the stars are sharing some hilarious, must-read quotes.

Check out what they've been saying below!

Watch: Are Amy Schumer & Tatiana Maslany the New Squad Goals?

"I weigh a buck-50, let's keep things low," Amy Schumer, talking about her dislike on top of large objects (specifically Billy Joel's piano with Jennifer Lawrence).

"By the end of the show I will have rolled these pants all the way up… I wish they were cut off shorts!" Tatiana Maslany talking about the heat on the red carpet.

"In life when horrible things happen, sometimes we have to laugh." Laverne Cox on the humor in Orange Is the New Black.

"I haven't got breast implants like him," Ricky Gervais on why he can't unbutton his shirt as low as Simon Cowell.

Watch: Taraji P. Henson Needed Convincing for "Empire"?!

"I just kind of want to get wasted with her," Tituss Burgess on sharing a bottle of Pinot Noir with Lily Tomlin.

"You always were hot but not you're hotter," Taraji P. Henson talking to Seacrest.

"We should all be poolside drinking margaritas, surely?!" Cat Deeley discussing the weather being "hotter than hades."

"In a future episode I strangle that little bugger!" Kevin Spacey talking about Cashew the giunnea pig in House of Cards.

"But then I actually try to hang from a monkey bar and my kids get a laugh out of it," Edie Falco talking about going on American Ninja Warrior.

Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

"I feel the breeze in all kinds of places right now!" Kerry Washington discussing the details of her mesh dress.

"And that's good because my staff and I are a little perverted, so that's good!" Mindy Kaling talking about The Mindy Project getting a little racier now  that it's on Hulu.

"My mother was hysterical as always. That's why I couldn't bring her here tonight because it would have been all about her, so I brought my son instead," Anthony Anderson about the most emotional person he got a phone call from after the announcement of his nomination.

Steve Granitz/WireImage

"Let's just say it…we're both really hot. It's just such a cruel joke to make us all get dressed up and walk down like this. But on the plus side I think I've lost a couple pounds! It's Bikram Emmy's!" Allison Janney discussing the heat.

"She plays herself, she plays Britney Spears, and she's going to be phenomenal!" Gina Rodriguez dishing on Spears' appearance on Jane the Virgin this fall.

"I think he's psychic!" Sarah Hyland revealing her stylist Brad Goreski's biggest secret.

 "Nope… I don't write speeches. I haven't needed one for three years!" Mayim Bialik on preparing for a big win.

Watch: What Amy Poehler Misses Most About "Parks and Recreation"

 "I very much prefer tonight which is…Uh, I can get a little drunk, and Andy [Samberg]'s going to do a great job!"Amy Poehler on whether she prefers being on stage or in the audience during awards shows.

"I'm a priest. She's a former nun and she turns me into a non-priest. That would be the Trainwreck 2," Keegan Michael Key on making a movie with Amy Schumer. "And there'd be farts and drunkenness in there, too!"

"I, like almost every actor in the world, auditioned for Friends," Jane Krakowski reveals the one role she wished she got. "I auditioned for Rachel, and I didn't go very far. But my business manager is very sad that I didn't.  I have no friends, clearly."

Watch: Jane Krakowski Reveals She Auditioned for "Friends"

"'Good evening idiot hookers' is a line we've all been repeating constantly. It's awful. It's completely outrageous," Emma Roberts says, regarding being super close with her Scream Queens cast. "Another line is, ‘What fresh hell is this!'"

"I want Jon Hamm to win, I think he deserves it," Padma Lakshmi on her hopes for the night.

"Oh there's Ellie [Kemper]! Keepin' it tight, running marathons and stuff," Tina Fey upon seeing the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt star.

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

"He went backstage to eat. He was hungry," Sofía Vergara on why she ended up alone on the red carpet, without Joe Manganiello.

"I feel like Superman's cousin!" Queen Latifah on her outfit.

"Oh, you're wearing yourself! That's like masturbating!" Jimmy Kimmel talking about Ryan Seacrest wearing his own brand.

For all the fashion hits and misses, tune in to a brand-new Fashion Police Monday, Sept. 21 at 8 p.m., only on E!

Watch: Sofia Vergara's Upcoming Wedding Inspires New Fragrance