Facebook, Dislike, Thumbs Down


The entire Facebook game is about to change.

Facebook's head honcho Mark Zuckerberg announced today during a Q&A at Facebook's headquarters that they are currently working on a "dislike" button.

"I think people have asked about the dislike button for many years. Today is a special day because today is the day I can say we're working on it and shipping it," Zuckerberg said, and explained why it's needed.

"What they really want is the ability to express empathy. Not every moment is a good moment."

True, Zuckerberg. Very true. However, we can think of some other reasons a "dislike" button would be very, very fitting...

1. Anything Your Ex Posts: Oh, you love life? DISLIKE. You got a new job? DISLIKE. You're happy? DISLIKE. No, but on a more serious note, why are you even friends with your ex on Facebook? C'mon now.

2. Excessive Baby Photos: Your baby is the cutest thing in the entire world, from farting to burping to pooping to cooing...WE GET IT.

3. Offensive Political and/or Religious Posts: Things are going to get rough out there people. Beware and tread lightly.

4. Death Posts: Finally, a way to acknowledge a tragedy without having to "like" it.

5. Anything Related to Candy Crush: Oh, you made it to Lemonade Lake on Candy Crush? Nobody cares. And don't even think about sending a game request!

6. Excessive Venting: A wise person once said, "Face your problems, don't Facebook your problems." Those are words to live by, friend.

7. Anything Sad: There's a lot of unfortunate news that hits the Facebook feed, and now you can be sympathetic without looking like an ass by "liking" it.

8. PDA Overkill: You're in a relationship. We get it.

9. The Fifth Engagement You've Seen in a Row: Everyone's in love and getting married. We get it.

10. FOMO: Stop rubbing in all the fun you're having without us. It's just rude.

11. The Oversharing Relative: We all have one. But be careful, a "dislike" will probably result in an hour-long phone conversation and some awkwardness at the next family gathering.

12. Selfie Galore: You have a face. We get it.

13. Unnecessary Check-Ins: You're at Starbucks?! NO WAY. You're at the gym?! AMAZING. Now get off your phone and do what you went there to do.

14. TV Spoilers: Why would you do that? WHY?

15. Vague Outbursts: Passive-aggressive social media tantrums? DISLIKE.

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