OK, listen up you tragic little tartlets who haven't even seen one episode of Scream Queens and yet somehow deem yourself worth of sharing the same air.
Scream Queens—you know, the best new show this fall, DUH, that was loosely inspired by that infamous sorority bitch letter from hell—is premiering exactly one week from today. Which means Scream Queens Rush Week is officially ON.
You've probably heard the pathetic, whiney whispers by all those losers who will NEVER GET IN* and so fine, whatever, we can just come right out and tell you it's true: We here at E! are already so IN LOVE and so IN with Scream Queens that we're launching our own super-exclusive, ultra-private club for prospective fans who will receive private information, a k a, SCOOP no one else will. We're calling it:
Today is the first day for all prospective pledges to try** to get in.
And yet, WHAT IS THIS HIDEOUS OFFENSIVENESS I SEE? You, dressed as if its just an average Tuesday in your average life, going about your average existence. Would it have killed you to get a triple spray tan and quadruple lash extensions for the occasion? And where is my 108-degree triple foam, half-caf, half-skim, chai latte?!!!
Here's how this is going to work:
Every pledge who makes it into E!'s Squad SQ will have special access to scoop (what's coming up and what's going down behind the scenes), priority answering in our live chats after each episode airs, a chance to come to one of our own private Scream Queens viewing parties and more. Once you're in, we'll give you more details about how it's all going to work. But we sure as shi-poopie aren't posting them here for all the RANDOS to read.
If you want to join E!'s Squad SQ, the "pledge process" is simple, if you get in NOW (it's gonna get much trickier as time goes on!):
Just tweet @eonlineTV and @kristindsantos a photo of you holding up a paper that says "#SquadSQ" and make sure you are following @eonlinetv and @kristindsantos. We'll direct message you back with your acceptance letter—and our plans to have all sorts of ridiculous fun together.
Tick tock, pledges! Tweet us now.
And stand by for Scream Queens scoop, every day leading up to its premiere as E!'s Scream Queens Pledge Week continues.
DISCLAIMER: Despite my attempt to (pathetically and obnoxiously) channel Emma Roberts' bitchtastic character Chanel No. 2 in the above text—the actual human souls on our E! TV Team, who will be watching and obsessing over Scream Queens with you, are actually pretty loveable, grounded people who are also a crap-ton of FUN. (We also say words like "crap-ton." So now you know precisely how cool we actually are.)
*Anyone can get in!
**Literally, we'll take ANYONE!