You're the worst. We're the worst. We're all the worst, and we're ok with it.
If you had told us a year ago that our favorite show was soon to be a comedy about the world's worst people falling in love and eating brunch, we would have been all "that doesn't sound likely but it also doesn't sound impossible, and anyway, our favorite show will always be Game of Thrones."
Then, Game of Thrones killed off Jon Snow, and now here we are with a new favorite show called You're the Worst. Season two just premiered on FXX with a masterpiece called "The Sweater People," and we fell in love all over again. It's just the most unexpectedly pleasant and yet unarguably terrible comedy on TV, and we are obsessed with it, just like everybody else seems to be.
We have accepted the fact that we are irresponsible garbage people now. We're fine with it, and you should be too.
In the spirit of being fine with it, we collected all of the lines from tonight's premiere that we shouted at our friends and/or repeated out loud to ourselves through fits of giggles as we watched the premiere:
"Headwigglies!" — Jimmy (Chris Geere)
"I monitor the men's showers for...roughhousing." — Edgar (Desmin Borges)
"Who knows their own address?" "People, kidnapped children, this dog I saw on Dateline who rides the bus to the park..." — Jimmy
"Gotta sprawl." — Lindsey (Kether Donohue)
"Do it for the sweater people, Gretch... It's a metaphor." — Lindsay
"This takes you off the membership for the Museum of Prehistoric Metallurgy, but I bought you your own individual membership, so there'd be no gap for you there!" — Paul (Allan McLeod)
"I look like a young Roger Ebert!" — Paul, who absolutely does.
"I think we should do butt stuff tonight." "Faaaantastic!" —Gretchen (Aya Cash) and Jimmy
"You love cocaine!" "Yes I do! It's my shiiiiii..." — Jimmy and Gretchen
"Cool! Let's add cocaine to the butt stuff!" — Gretchen
"I'm just excited for our night of drugs and potentially dangerous sex acts." — Jimmy
"Do I look like a FitBit?!" — Sam (Brandon Mychal Smith)
"Sleepy bitches lose their right to use normal people phones. Sleepy bitches only get to use phones made for hookers, and drug addicts, and irresponsible garbage people!" — Sam
"Let me give you a few tips: Do not listen to music. Nothing is sucking you towards it..." — The drug dealer in the bar
If nothing else, no one will ever be able to tell us about their sleeping habits without us yelling "Do I look like a FitBit?!" at them, and they will just have to deal with that.
Aaand if none of this makes any sense to you, you need to get yourself over to Hulu to binge this show immediately. You can thank us later.
You're the Worst airs Wednesdays at 10:30 on FXX.