Well, we were hoping for weird, and that was certainly weird.
It was also just kind of a longer, weirder, and more sincere version of The Colbert Report, which is just fine with us. It's actually even more than fine, since we miss The Colbert Report more than we could even tell you. This show might be even better than The Colbert Report. Yeah, not kidding.
This first show was filled to the brim with moments that made us laugh, cry, want Oreos, and nearly die of laughter, except minus the crying part. Let's run down the best and weirdest, shall we?
—Jon Stewart made a surprise (except we were all expecting it) appearance in the opener, in which Colbert sang the national anthem with a bunch of random people. Stewart was disguised as an umpire, obviously.
—CBS president Les Moonves was seated in the front row with a device that allowed him to (literally) switch CBS over to reruns of The Mentalist if he didn't like how Stephen's show was going. It was excellent.
—Stephen gave us a short tour of his set, including his painted ceiling, Captain America shield, and his cursed amulet. Then this happened:
—Donald Trump jokes became analogous to Oreos, and Stephen ended up in an Oreo coma, and we desperately wanted a package of Oreos so that we too could end up in an Oreo coma.
—Stephen gave his first guest, George Clooney, a super sweet wedding gift. It was a Tiffany's paperweight engraved with a super sweet message: "I don't know you."
—George Clooney didn't have a movie to promote, so he and Stephen made one up. It was called Decision Strike, and it was incredible.
—JEB! Stephen poked a bit of fun at Jeb Bush for his posters and unintentionally hilarious non-slogan, but then proceeded to actually interview him about politics, Bush family dynamics, and his opinions on Obama. Well done, though we could have used more JEB!
—The first Late Show with Stephen Colbert ended with a sweet performance of Everyday People with Jon Batiste, Stay Human, Mavis Staples, Ben Folds, Alabama Shakes' Brittany Howard, and many more.
—A short after-credits scene featured Colbert in what appeared to be the late night locker room with a pic of Jon Stewart inside his locker. Jimmy Fallon had Stephen's Time cover taped to his. We aww'd.
Also we were totally lying about not crying. At least one tear fell down our faces when the audience broke out into the Report's classic "Stephen! Stephen! Stephen!" chant. It felt like old times, but also new times, with some creepy ancient amulet times thrown in there just for funsies.
In other words, we'll be back tomorrow night.
What did you think of the premiere? Vote in the poll below and then head to the comments to weigh in!