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Look, we can't promise you we won't make any lame and/or inappropriate doctor puns when talking about this guy. But we promise we're going to try not to use any lame and/or inappropriate doctor puns.

Paging, Dr. Mike! We need a full physical, stat!

(Meh, we tried.)

This is Dr. Mike. He's a second-year resident living in New York City. And, as you can clearly see, he is extremely attractive. Why are we calling this particular guy to your attention? Sorry, did we misspell "extremely attractive?" Look at this dude!

A photo posted by Dr. Mike (@doctor.mike) on

The good news is that he's wonderful to look at. The bad news is that you all might now be pregnant from his piercing gaze.

"An avid explorer of life," reads his Instagram bio. "Just a man and his dog against the world." 

Ah, yes. Let's talk about the dog. The only thing more attractive than Dr. Mike in his Instagram photos is his adorable husky, Roxy. When we see photos of them all cuddled up together, we honestly don't know who we are more jealous of. Can't we wiggle in between them and cuddle with both man and beast?

A photo posted by Dr. Mike (@doctor.mike) on

We were born cuddlers #husky

A photo posted by Dr. Mike (@doctor.mike) on

A photo posted by Dr. Mike (@doctor.mike) on

Anyway, it's clear that Dr. Mike doesn't quite know what to do with all the recent Internet attention, as he has been screengrabbing articles from Buzzfeed, Huffpo and others with captions like "wow this has been some week!"

Meanwhile, the tri-state area has been thinking of ways to hurt themselves so they can book an appointment with Dr. Mike. Suggestion: do not go in saying you have explosive diarrhea. It will not be the best start to your seduction plan.

Roxy giving me a good luck pound before sending me off to the hospital ?????? #husky

A photo posted by Dr. Mike (@doctor.mike) on

Why are we still writing? Is anyone even reading this or just scrolling through all the delicious photos? We bet we could write literally anything right now and not a damn person would notice because why would you read words when you could look at him?!

Tator tots pumpkin shark bait derp derp derp.

Bicycle purple science mouse snork snorking?

Beyoncé koosh ball goop tardis spray tan! Q!

A photo posted by Dr. Mike (@doctor.mike) on

Dr. Mike, can you fix our shortness of breath and rapid heartbeat? Thanks!

(Sorry, we had to fit one more terrible doctor pun in before the end. We couldn't help it).