Don't worry, Bachelor in Paradise fans, Chris Bukowski was not taken away by the crabs that have plagued the ABC reality hit's set all season long when he mysteriously disappeared in Sunday's episode after giving Joshua his date card when no one would go out with him; he was off retiring!
After five appearances on various shows in The Bachelor franchise, Chris is retiring from the reality TV game...at the ripe old age of 28.
In a surprisingly moving letter, Chris explained his reasoning for finally turning in his rose, writing he "became obsessed with being on TV. That might not seem normal to some, but for me — in the moment — I always convinced myself I needed to go back."
Chris first made his franchise debut on Emily Maynard's season of The Bachelorette, before taking a villainous turn on Bachelor Pad 3. And he made headlines when he tried to join Andi Dorfman's season of The Bachelorette, attempting to crash the first cocktail party before being escorted out by security. He also appeared on both seasons of Bachelor in Paradise, with Chris revealing he showed up in season two in an attempt to find a date to his sister's wedding.
"What you saw is me at my absolute weakest moment, masking everything in my head behind ounces of alcohol," he wrote. "I returned to Bachelor in Paradise in hopes of finding a date to my sister's wedding. I left without a single memory of my time there. That's why I didn't watch that episode, as much as I would have liked to. I don't remember being there and I don't want to watch the version of me on TV."
And Chris revealed his relationship with his parents was majorly impacted by his behavior on the small screen. "That show ruined my relationship with my father at the time and created distance between me and my mother. What did I do!? Why did I do this!? It was so not worth it. I hated myself even though you couldn't see it," he wrote, before later adding, "I went months without talking to my dad because he simply didn't want to talk to me. He even said, 'That wasn't my son.' He was right."
But that's all in the past now.
Chris stopped by After Paradise on Monday night to make the announcement official, with Chris Harrison even retiring his Bachelor jersey (with the number five on it, of course). "It has been a roller coaster ride.. I truly cannot express to you in words how grateful I am for the support that I have gotten tonight," Chris wrote on his Instagram. "We make light about a lot of things but this has seriously been a struggle for me. After today and after the support I've got from my family, friends, and the bachelor franchise is incredible. I'm extremely grateful and this jersey is incredible. Thank you so much.
Calling his real life "spectacular," Chris seems finally ready to sign off the air—for good. "I miss being me."
To read Bukowski's full letter, check out his post on Rant Now.