Chipotle; Getty ImagesStop the presses: Hillary Clinton went to Chipotle.
And if you've been going about your week thinking that the biggest news stories are things like, say, Aaron Hernandez's conviction or the launch of the SpaceX shuttle, you'd be wrong. According to pretty much everybody, the fact that Hill was jonesin' for a burrito bowl was a major campaign development. Oh, and never mind the fact that Republican Senator Marco Rubio announced his Presidential run at the same time—the Chipotle run trumped that.
The history-making lunch stopped went down at an Ohio location during Clinton's cross-country campaign road trip, and since we know you're all waiting on pins and needles we'll tell you right now that her order of choice was a chicken burrito bowl (reportedly with guacamole, at least according to ABC News).
It's probably safe to assume that this was the end of the reporting cycle—Hillary goes to Chipotle, Hillary orders her burrito bowl, Hillary eats her burrito bowl. End of story. Not. This totally everyday lunch stop practically broke the Internet. Here are just a sample of the headlines that flooded feeds.
Hillary Clinton Makes Surprise Pit Stop at Chipotle in Ohio During Presidential Roadtrip (ABC)
Clinton Road Trip: Chipotle, Cottage Cheese and Scooby Snacks (CNN)
Hillary Clinton Stops at Chipotle Near Toledo, Goes Unnoticed (Cleveland.com)
Here's What Hillary Clinton Ordered at Chipotle (Business Insider)
Hillary Clinton Was 'Just Another Lady' During Her Lunch Stop at Chipotle (People)
Sign of the Times: Hillary Clinton Goes to Chipotle, Not McDonald's (CNN Money)
Hillary Clinton Goes Unnoticed in Ohio Chipotle (USA Today)
Hillary Clinton Spotted at Chipotle in Ohio "Trying to Be Incognito" as Presidential Candidate Makes Her Way to Iowa (New York Daily News)
Hillary Clinton, Just an Unrecognized Burrito Bowl Fan at Chipotle (The New York Times)
Now to be completely fair here, Hillary Clinton is a fascinating person and it's kind of funny to picture her hiding behind sunglasses and trying to order a burrito bowl without being noticed. But these stories weren't the end of the line either. ChipotleGate 2015 also spawned all sorts of in-depth analysis, from what her choice in burrito bowl means for America, to whether her decision to don sunglasses means she's unfit to be president. (And yes, that last bit came from Fox News).
Hillary Clinton's Chipotle Order: Above Average (The New York Times)
The Head of the Republican Party Says Hillary Clinton's Chipotle Trip Revealed a Huge Flaw in Her Campaign (Business Insider)
What Hillary Clinton's Chipotle Stop Says About Her Campaign (Christian Science Monitor)
And then there was the time that Fox News host Andrea Tantaros wondered whether this lunch stop was actually just a thinly-veiled attempt at Hispanic outreach. Really.
Naturally Twitter was not one to be left out—but it's safe to say that regular Americans took a more casual (or should we say fast casual?) approach to the incident.
As Jon Stewart deftly pointed out, this is going to be a long election.
But all kidding aside, our society is so very #blessed to have political reporters so dedicated to getting the real story—never again will we stay up nights wondering if Hillary is a steak person or a sofritas person.