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Orlando Bloom

Ramey Photo

Look, ma—no hands! Actually, uh, maybe mom should look away on this one...

You don't have to avert your eyes, though: Take a look at Orlando Bloom's bulge in those bike shorts!

The 38-year-old actor rode along Malibu's Pacific Coast Highway Wednesday afternoon, looking oh-so-sporty in professional cycling shoes, biking gloves and those spandex shorts. Miranda Kerr's ex, riding with traffic, even protected his pretty face from the sun with a wide-brim hat and shielded his eyes with some sexy shades.

He rocked one of those backpacks that lets you hydrate on the go, too! But the Lord of the Rings star forgot the most important piece of equipment: His helmet!

Going bare noggin, BTW, is not ballsy, but it is irresponsible! Hopefully Mr. Bloom remembers that next time he straddles a bike seat.

He's already narrowly escaped death once before! Indeed, back in 1998, a pre-fame Orlando suffered a potentially fatal fall. Per GQ, the actor was just "messing around" and while trying to get onto a roof terrace, a pipe gave way, and Orlando fell three stories, shattering his vertebrae.

"Until then, I didn't have a healthy appreciation for life and death—that we're not invincible," he recalled to the mag. "And for four days, I faced the idea of living in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I went to some dark places in my mind. I realized, I'm either going to walk again or I'm not."

Fortunately, he recovered, and he walked out of the hospital a week later. "But that accident has informed everything in my life," he told GQ. "Until you're close to losing it, you don't realize. I used to ride motorbikes and drive cars like everything was a racetrack; it was ridiculous. It wasn't because I thought it was cool; it was just because I loved living on the edge. But I've chilled."

Thank goodness. That said, though, you'd think the least he could do now is wear a helmet—and maybe a jockstrap.