• Share
  • Tweet
  • Share

ABC has just confirmed that Diane Sawyer will conduct an exclusive two-hour interview with Bruce Jenner at the end of April. Bruce has had such a wide range of life experience, from being an Olympic gold medalist to a beloved reality star, so we're hoping that Diane really nails this by asking all the right questions.

Since the interview could be massively significant on so many levels, we wanted to voice some of the burning questions that we would love to hear Bruce answer. If you're reading this, Diane, feel free to use any of these!

 

Bruce Jenner, KUWTK

On a scale of 1-10, how closely does Kim's voice resemble that of an ensnared lamb? 

Does Kris Jenner really have an supervillain-like control room where she spins around in a swivel chair and demands that her daughters "GET MORE NAKED!!"

How did you typically pass the time while Kris is getting her bi-weekly anal rejuvenations?

Do you have any permanent markings from being told by camera crews to "please hold still" while seated on crunchy white leather furniture?

Is it true that the word "Kardashian" actually means "generic house music?"

How did you manage to avoid the camera implanted in Kris' forehead? 

Can you show us, on this map of the Kardashian estate, the exit you escaped through?

What does Kris not have in common with Scientology leader David Miscavige? 

How many publicity stunts can a Kardashian pull during the average trip from the car to the front door of an LA-based florist?

In episode 7 of season 2, who farted the most in the pool?

How many times a year were you coerced into wearing leather pants in weather above 80 degrees Fahrenheit?

In what high-security bunker and/or Naval private weapon station did you hide in order to avoid being pictured on the Christmas Card? 

 

And that's it. There's really nothing left to ask! Oh wait, well, there is one more question. What ever happened to Karen Kardashian? The one no one ever talks about. Yeah, we know about her.