Hold onto your hats TV fans, because we're about to enter into what may go down as the greatest month we've ever known.
April has always been a pretty good month for television, but this particular April seems especially bountiful. Not only is Game of Thrones finally returning to us, but Empire's queen Cookie (Taraji P. Henson) is hosting SNL, Bethenny Frankel is coming back to Real Housewives of New York City, and Tatiana Maslany is about to rule our world seven times over when the new season of Orphan Black premieres.
All that, plus the fact that Outlander is about to resume bringing us some of TV's greatest sex scenes on a weekly basis? Who needs any other month ever?
To help you celebrate (and keep track of) this glorious month of televisual gold, we've collected all of our favorite TV happenings into this one handy dandy little list! You're welcome, and enjoy.
Saturday, Apr. 4
Outlander, 9 p.m. on Starz
It's Jamie's turn to narrate for a bit when the second half of the first season of one of TV's best new shows premieres. We've seen the first five episodes, and trust us—that six-month wait was beyond worth it. Also, make sure to put the kids (or the parents) to bed before watching. Things get...steamy. (And also kind of scary.)
Sunday, Apr. 5
Mad Men, 10 p.m. on AMC
It's so haaaaard to say goodbyyyyye to yesterdaaaaayyyy that we're just going to pretend we never have to. Don Draper will stay with us forever. Seven is a lot of episodes and denial is healthy, right?
Monday, Apr. 6
Better Call Saul finale, 10 p.m. on AMC
While we're a little sad that the first season of our Breaking Bad replacement therapy is already over, Saul's already been renewed for season 2 so it'll be back before we know it! Plus, we already know Vince Gilligan's got skillz when it comes to season finales, so this is sure to be a good time.
Tuesday, Apr. 7
The Real Housewives of New York City, 9 p.m. on Bravo
Please welcome Bethenny Frankelllllll (said like Oprah Winfrey of course). Bethenny returns to the Housewives fray for the first time since season three and she is bringing it. By it we mean drama, humor, the one-liners and everything else. Plus we've got Dorinda Medley joining the group that already consists of Ramona Singer, Luann de Lesseps, Sonja Morgan, Heather Thomson, Kristen Taekman and Carole Radziwill. You know it's going to be a good season when the trailer features a hungover Countess LuAnn saying, "Be cool. Don't be all...uncool." Welcome back to the Big Apple!
Thursday, Apr. 9
Louie, 10:30 p.m. on FX
We will happily listen to Louis C.K. give his thoughts on literally anything from garbage men to childcare to weight issues, and the fact that he has promised that new episodes are going to be a little goofier and more playful is just extra icing on an already pretty sweet season 5 cake. (We would say the same thing about a darker, more serious season as well. We just love Louie. And cake.)
Friday, Apr. 10
Daredevil, midnight PT on Netflix
Marvel's first Netflx series is upon us! The gritty take on the Man Without Fear comes complete with an all-star cast. We can't wait to see what the Marvel TV world looks like without network restrictions. Bring on the cussing and bloody superhero battles. And Charlie Cox! Bring lots of him on.
Saturday, Apr. 11
Saturday Night Live with Taraji P. Henson and Mumford & Sons, 11:30 p.m. on NBC
It's Cookie doing comedy, and you know there will be Empire references. Do you need any other reason to stay home on a Saturday night?
Sunday, Apr. 12
Game of Thrones, 9 p.m. on HBO
We feel like we've been waiting for season 5 for years, after season 4 ended with Tyrion murdering his father while the old man was on the toilet. Will Tyrion get away with it? What has Arya been up to? Will Dany's dragons get to fly free? Will Cersei and Jamie get even more disgusting? We can't wait to find out!
Tuesday, Apr. 14
Justified series finale, 10 p.m. on FX
How will it all end?! We have no idea, and it's stressing us out. Our only respite from the anxiety is the thought of seeing Timothy Olyphant in a cowboy hat one last time.
Saturday, Apr. 18
Orphan Black, 9 p.m. on BBC America
You guys already know that if we were in charge of the Emmys, Tatiana Maslany would no longer be able to leave her house due to it being filled to the brim with award statues. Unfortunately, we are not in charge of the Emmys, but you'll just have to take our word for it that this is a show worth losing your mind over.
Tuesday, Apr. 21
Inside Amy Schumer, 10:30 p.m. on Comedy Central
We almost didn't realize how much we missed this lady-ruled sketch show until we found out when it was coming back, and now Apr. 21 can't get here soon enough. We need something truly magical to fill the void in our heart caused by the Broad City hiatus, and Schumer is the perfect fit.
Wednesday, Apr. 29 & 30
The Casual Vacancy, HBO
It's J.K. Rowling where we personally believe J.K. Rowling should always be: on TV! Sure, it's not Harry Potter-related in the slightest, but it is a three-part miniseries that originally ran on the BBC, based on Rowling's first post-Potter novel about a small town fighting over a vacant town council seat. There may not be wizards, but we will still be watching.
*Minus the science part, since we are not scientists