Humanity never ceases to amaze, especially with this shoplifting story. Florida resident Marisol Toribio stopped by a Fort Lauderdale Macy's and allegedly decided that she wasn't going to pay for her purchases and instead opted to try and steal them. Security, however, discovered her shoplifting attempt and caught her in the act.
What happens next is pretty unbelievable.
Rather than surrender herself to the members of security who tried to nab her, she allegedly pulled poop out of her pants and smeared it all over the employees' faces—her own poop—Local 10 is reporting.
The 32-year-old appeared in court Wednesday and faces theft charges in addition to a charge of tampering with or fabricating physical evidence.
2014 must be the year of poop. Let's not forget when Cards Against Humanity sold 30,000 boxes of "bulls—t" on Black Friday—each box was filled with actual poop—for $6 a pop. It wasn't a surprise, however, as the game's website had advertised the gimmick exactly as it turned out to be: A box containing "literal feces, from an actual bull."
It doesn't get much clearer—or smellier—than that! So why the gross product on such a massive shopping day?
One of the game's co-creators, Max Temkin, told Time, "We all really hate Black Friday." Seems like a simple enough reason!
"It comes after this day where you're supposed to be thankful for what you have, and then it's just this whole huge media spectacle of people fighting each other to save $50 on a TV," he added.
"We also had the idea of issuing people a one penny off coupon, but that felt weird because it was still a deal," he said. "That's sort of still doing Black Friday."
But unlike Toribio, Cards Against Humanity's little gimmick contributed to charity! The game made 20 cents on each $6 sale, and profits went to Heifer International, a charity giving livestock (and sustainability) to help communities rebuild.
Here's to hoping 2015 is a poop-free year.