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Ladies and gents, our Queen Helena's Christmas address is one for the ages…at least the one she wants to give is. And our queen is Elizabeth Hurley from E!'s first scripted series, The Royals, set to premiere March 15. 

It's safe to say Queen Helena and Queen Elizabeth II could not be more different in their annual Christmas addresses. Although we would pay good money to see Queen Elizabeth drop the f-bomb!

"I'm supposed to tell you what a wonderful year it's been," Hurley's Queen Helena says in the video above. "I'm supposed to smile and stick to the script. But the truth is, as a family, as a monarchy, we're hanging on by a thread."

Elizabeth Hurley, Queen Helena, The Royals

Frank W. Ockenfels 3/E! Entertainment

That family includes Vincent Regan as King Simon, William Mosley as Prince Liam and Alexandra Park as Princess Eleanor. Or as Queen Helena likes to call them: Princess Party Animal and His Royal Horniness. Threesomes, gangbangs, drugs—this is quite the royal family.

The cast of The Royals also includes Merritt Patterson, Jake Maskall, Ukweli Roach, Tom Austen, Sophie Colquhoun and Oliver Milburn with Joan Collins making a guest appearance as the Grand Duchess of Oxford.

Will somebody please get Queen Helena a saucer for her tea?! For more of the royal antics, tune in on Wednesday, March 25.

The 10-episode hour-long drama from One Tree Hill creator Mark Schwahn premieres Wednesday, March 25 at 9PM on E!.

E!'s new scripted series The Royals premieres Wednesday, March 25, at 9PM!