Charlie Hunnam is not Christian Grey. (A moment of silence, please.) Jamie Dornan may be Christian Grey—and we would definitely, without a doubt, see Fifty Shades of Grey if he is.
But production is set to start very soon and we need a Mr. Grey now. Fifty Shades without a Christian Grey is like sex without a Red Room of pain and pleasure. What's the point? Which is why we're proposing this: Aaron Taylor-Johnson should play Christian Grey.
Aaron, who starred in such films as Kick-Ass, Kick-Ass 2, Anna Karenina and will next appear in Avengers 2, is the husband of director Sam Taylor-Johnson. When she first booked the gig, he told Metro UK, "I am not Christian Grey. I mean, he is supposed to be the most gorgeous man on the f--king planet! And I am not old enough."
Don't sell yourself short, Aaron! Here are all the reasons we think you are the perfect person to play Christian Grey:
1. If you missed his resumé up top, he's already a well established actor and his star is only on the rise.
2. He was even nominated for a "Rising Star" Award, from BAFTA!
3. He's carried a rated-R franchise (Kick-Ass).
Good to know, for Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed's sake.
4. Next, he'll star in the Godzilla reboot opposite Bryan Cranston and Elizabeth Olsen.
5. And in Avengers 2, opposite Elizabeth Olsen (again! But this time as her brother!)
That's A-List stuff. We think he could handle a little old erotica novel.
6. Age is just a number.
Aaron is 23. Christian Grey is 27. Close enough!
7. As for the not "being the most gorgeous man on the f--king planet" issue, all the reasons after this beg to differ.
6. He looks good in a suit.
7. Which is a necessity for all Christian Greys.
8. Just swap this bowtie out for a nice silver necktie.
9. Ignore the crazy hair.
10. Ignore the questionable goatee.
11. Ignore the wife.
12. Here, he looks good in a suit in motion:
13. He even looks good in an old timey, Russian suit:
14. He also looks good from behind:
(As for his behind, skip to point No. 37. Spoiler alert: Dat ass!)
15. He looks good with even fewer clothes on.
16. He looks good with no clothes on.
17. Doing pull-ups.
18. Doing one-handed pull-ups.
19. Just really...really...good.
20. The hair?
21. It's good, too.
23. It works.
Who cares if it's not "copper-colored"?
24. He can do brooding.
25. He can do swagger.
26. He can do pensive.
27. And other finger-biting emotions.
28. He can do lovey-dovey.
29. And charming.
30. And S&M, we assume.
That's his arm. That's an arm that could dominate.
31. Oh, and he did this to Kiera Knightley.
32. And this to Kiera Knightley.
Pretend Kiera Knightley is Anastasia Steele.
(WARNING: The rest of the points are potentially NSFW and feature nudity.)
33. And then there's this.
(Ignore Blake Lively.)
34. And this.
(Ignore Blake Lively.)
35. This.
(Ignore Blake Lively.)
36. This.
(Ignore Blake Lively.)
37.
(If you're still distracted by Blake Lively, your opinion on who plays Christian Grey is moot.)
Those cakes? Uh, yeah. They work for us.
38. So we're thinking chemistry isn't going to be an issue.
We rest our case.