The 12th season of American Idol kicked off last night and was, what new judge Mariah Carey would probably call, a two hour long "GIF moment."
As for the epic diva battle? It played out via a drawn out feud over Mean Girls (with Mariah Carey playing the part of Regina George, against her will, and Nicki Minaj Gretchen Wieners—that's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets).
Nicki spoke in a British accent, Mariah opted for made-up French and much more. Oh, was there more.
There was Nicki, who's a GIF in human form (a talent she's worked hard to perfect).
Minaj didn't disappoint when it came to the feud, either playfully attempting to strangle Mimi (we're guessing it was playful).
Or just being generally unimpressed with her.
But our favorite moment came when she seemingly fell in love at first sight with a Michael Jackson impersonator wearing a plastic Halloween costume, the rapper having less of a warning as to his impending insanity than the audience at home (thanks for all the sound effects, Idol)!
And just as quickly wanted to rip her own face off.
Meanwhile, Mariah just rebuked things (like being called a "bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, biiiiiiiitch").
And played with her hair.
And sometimes didn't move for so long.
That she powered down.
As for the third new judge, Switzerland Keith Urban, he spilled a drink.
And no one could really figure out why Randy Jackson was still there.