Xavier Samuel, Liam Hemsworth, Ryan Kwanten, Sam Worthington

Getty Images/WireImage

Dear Ted:
Seems like Australian actors are having quite a moment these days so I was hoping you'd tell me which of my fave Aussie hunks has a B.V.: Liam Hemsworth, Xavier Samuel, Ryan Kwanten, Eric Bana and Sam Worthington. Kisses to the pups from me and all these drool-worthy fellas!

Dear Down Under:
It does seem like those foreign hotties are invading T-town—not that you'll hear me complaining anytime ever. As for Vices amongst those par-tick stars, good old Titan-fighting Sammy is the only one listed who has a moniker—but there are other infamous Superstars who hail from Australia. Plus, we all know how much Liam loves hanging with Vicers, right?

Dear Ted:
Is Percy Dubois happier in his current relationship than he was with Sally Pearlsmyth?

READ: Miley Cyrus Talks Hunger Games: "The Hardest Part for Liam Was Being Away From Me!"

Dear Happiness from Heartbreak:
How presumptuous of you to assume that Percy has moved on so easily! But since I did tell you that Sally had hopped back into the dating pool (though halfheartedly at first), I guess it's fair to admit Percy is back in action too. It's a different kind of happiness, but he's getting there.

Dear Ted:
Lucretia Johnson
sounds like Snooki to me. Am I right?

Dear Puh-Lease:
As if Snook only started getting a bit too tipsy of late. Have you ever seen an episode of Jersey Shore, doll? It's a certified bacchanalia…with the poofed-up Seaside princess as its former ringleader. But nice guess.

Dear Ted:
What's going on with the King? You haven't posted anything about King Schlong for a while, so I need to know what's going on with him! Any updates?

Dear Bore-nogomy:
Remember how King got all girl crazy when Hollywood's elite started handing out awards left and right? Well, he's still stuck on the fairer sex (or whatever) and playing rather tame these days when it comes to his usual philandering habits.

Dear Ted:
All right, well I struck out with my guess about Judas Jack-Off's Vicey lady, but what about Dash Dashed-Dingle? Has he ever coupled with one of the ladies who have earned monikers?

Dear Strictly Business:
No, actually. But hey, the bigger the star the bigger the beard—he leaves the moniker mashing up to JJO.

Dear Ted:
Out of curiosity, has Fake à la Ferocity ever overdosed on her nasty little habit? Just curious, as it is a drug that is easy to O.D. If she did, was she with her current partner or was she much younger? Love ya!

Dear Getting Real:
Fake has certainly run into her fair share of troubles because of the habits she keeps, but she hasn't had any life or death scares with her current beau. She cleaned up her act, but you're right: It's a hell of a drug.

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share