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Ellen DeGeneres, Portia De Rossi

Jay L. Clendenin/Lara Porzak Photography via GettyImages

Do-Me Meter, Awful Truth

Istockphoto.com

There's something about wedding season, or as we prefer "honeymoon season," that just gets all of us here at the AT in a frisky mood.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossis glamo two-gal spin on the rice thang has us all hot 'n' farily bothered—PDR's gown is just too divine. J'adore the back, plus the silhouette combines nookie and class better than a burlesque show, fer sure.

And while we were not so fond of El-hon's badly fit outfit at first glance, it's grown on us just a bit. Prolly cause the TV host could've donned a frock from Lauren Conrad's fashion line and still be smiling, she's so friggin' happy. As she should be.

But this is the time, we're afraid, that we must blab about Portia's increasingly frosty morphing into some kind of Coldwater Canyon Stepford Wife. Porsche-babe, it's ironic that the more you've become ensconced in Ellen's multimillion-dollar way of cohabitating, the less sexy you've become. Boring pantsuits, blah expressions seem to have become a way of life for you as of late.

So, please, keep sexin' it up, à la your wedding day, for future outings. Ellen's man-closet is so not you.

—With additional English-effing reportage by Becky Bain