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Jenna Fischer, Rainn Wilson

Jerome Ware/ZUMAPress.com, George Kraychyk

Warning: "Rainn Wilson is a madman. He is crazy and you should take him serious."

These chilling words come to you from the adorable and reliable Angela Kinsey, who just confirmed to me while I was on the Office set that Rainn has indeed kidnapped Angela's real-life BFF, Jenna Fischer, and placed her in the trunk of his car. What's more: Jenna was not on set while the entire Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch filmed a business ethics scene all day yesterday. Every single series regular was in attendance—except Jenna. Gaaaah!

Now, you're scared for our beloved Beesly, right?

Click in for more details...

Exhibit A: In case you missed it, Rainn wrote on Jenna's MySpace page that he has "kidnapped the lovely Jenna, put her, bound, in the trunk of my Firebird" and will only release her if you go see his new movie, The Rocker, which comes out August 22.

Exhibit B: I personally was on the set of The Office all day yesterday, where they were shooting a business ethics scene all day long, lead by the lovely Holly Flax (Amy Ryan). And I can tell you that the only series regular not in attendance was one Miss Jenna Fischer.

Angela Kinsey, The Office

Byron Cohen/NBC

Exhibit C: Angela Kinsey tracked me down on the set to plead with me to help free Jenna, saying, "I am very concerned about this." As if the kidnapping, canned food and 120-degree heat inside the car weren't tragic enough, it turns out poor new mom Angela has no one to hang out with but her adorable 3-month-old baby girl.

"I told Rainn I need to talk to [Jenna]," Angela told me. "She’s my BFF, we have lots to do, we were going to Target, going to get pedicures. We go on walks. Yeah, we are fascinating, and he’s putting a real damper on my BFF time."

Exhibit D: This is so not a joke...

How You Can Help: Rainn says he will not release Jenna until The Rocker grosses $18.7 million, but Angela had other ideas: "I would call the cops. I would get Johnny Law over there, maybe smack Rainn Wilson around." Still, she warned: "Rainn is kind of wiry and oddly flexible."

Gee, I wonder how Angela knows? It's not as if she's playing a girl who's boinking Rainn's character while engaged to someone else.

Send your well wishes to Pam and ideas of how to break her free in the comments section.

And oh yeah, minor detail: If you're curious as to why Pam wasn't in that meeting, join the club! Perhaps our girl Beesly is already a model of ethics? That's my second-best guess, anyway...

(I can't yet share anything else from my Office visit, but stand by for more a little later on.)