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John Edwards, Rielle Hunter

Will Ragozzino/Getty Images

Oh, this is so Donna Rice/Gary Hart. The handsome presidential candidate unzips, derails and then both he and she are chased around the country by the media and self-serving moralists alike. But didn't Donna at least get a jeans endorsement out of it all?

All Reille Hunter's getting are death threats, as well as being chased from her home and hearing legions of folks saying John Edwards wandered from his wife for that? Look, the reason a man cheats has everything to do with what happens before he swings the salami—-never for what, or whom, it gets hauled out for, trust.

Anyway, the political goss is that Reille's either been chased out of the country—or worse—to the land of heathens and unrepentant freaks: California. Santa Barbara, specifically. So claims the Dallas Morning News—and that her new digs were paid for by one of Edwards' campaign contributors. Maybe, maybe not.

More so the latter, insist my beachy real estate moles who swear on their leased Mercedes guzzlers that Reille has landed in simply the most perf place for persecuted, peroxided types: Malibu. Love.

Maybe R.H. can bitch with Pamela at the Rite-Aid 'bout how nasty we press cretins are? Surely it's only a matter of time.