OPEN BOOK: Ashley Judd has written a memoir in which she drops multiple childhood-trauma bombs, including the revelation that she was sexually molested as a kid. She further un-idealizes her life, starting with how mom Naomi Judd built a false image to go with her life as a country-music star that left Ashley confused and, apparently, scarred for life. Sister Wynonna Judd revealed her own horrific tale of abuse later in the week. Ashley ultimately said that she feels bad that her mother, who says she hopes that their family can truly begin to heal now that the truth is out, is being newly scrutinized in light of the revelations in her book. But while Judd's obviously been through some stuff (not including her makeup malfunction), the Roots' ?uestlove didn't take lightly to her criticizing the rap community for promoting a "rape culture," especially when several hip-hop heavyweights are involved in the same abuse-awareness charity that Judd stumps for.
TARNISHED IDOL: Good Charlotte once said that girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money. But the real deal is, girls don't like girls, girls like boys and singing. Pia Toscano, one of the best pure singers Amercian Idol has had in awhile was voted off, leaving the judges shocked and incensed, and Pia... resigned. She actually said she had a sneaking suspicion she'd be getting the boot this week. Why, because she knows a modelesque brunette doesn't stand a chance when there are 17-year-old boys to be voted for? Not to take away from Scotty and the rest of the talented and always safe pack, but... Pia so didn't deserve to go home. Sometimes the frontrunners have a bad night that does them, but she actually stepped it up with "River Deep, Mountain High." Sigh...
FLOPPING WITH THE STARS: And just like that, these "tired old competitions" are exciting again. The leaderboard on Dancing With the Stars toppled under the weight of inconsistency this week, with Petra Nemcova rocketing into a tie for first place, Chris Jericho barely stumbling and ending up in the bottom three, and Kirstie Alley falling over Maksim's bum leg and ending up scoring just as high as the fully upright Ralph Macchio. In the end, it was the deserving Wendy Williams who went home, but there have already been two changing of the guards and we're only approaching week four!
WHERE THERE'S A WILLS THERE'S A KATE: The big day on April 29 is fast approaching...Meet the royal wedding party...Google has taken the liberty of mapping out the royal wedding route (finally, those satellites come in handy for something...After they're married, Kate Middleton's princessdom isn't assured, though it's likely...Only Mother Nature laughs in the face of royalty. Prince Harry was stranded in the Arctic for an extra day, but he should be fully defrosted in time for his best man's speech...Here's some stuff you might not have known about the Middleton family...Plus a family gallery for both sides...You want to be in shape like Kate? Just have your staff build you a gym in the Queen Mum's old house...Now you can creepily flip their little plastic heads back at the neck and get a piece of candy...Oh, those Brits, they'll wager on anything...And merry olde England is très moderne now, thankyouverymuch.
LOSING...NO, WINNING...YES, WINNING!: Charlie Sheen's unstructured (yet possibly trademarkable) antics bombed in Detroit, but he regrouped by the following night and slayed 'em in Chicago, following that with another winning night in Cleveland. He and the goddesses then jetted off to NYC, where they checked into the Trump International in advance of his show at Radio City Music Hall. And yet, apparently before he hit the road, he still found the time to relive his finest TV moment.
BABY BOOM: Drea de Matteo and Shooter Jennings have named their new son Waylon, after Shooter's famous father...Laila Ali and hubby Curtis Conway welcomed a daughter, their second child...Tina Fey is expecting her second child with husband Jeff Richmond...Mariska Hargitay and hubby Peter Hermann adopted a daughter, their second child (and here she is)...Kevin Federline's girlfriend, Victoria Prince, shows off her now very visible baby bump...Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom are still really enjoying shooting for baby No. 1...Nicole Richie is not pregnant and the media suck...Little Suri Cruise is going to be 5 soon. That's almost old enough, according to her footwear timeline, for stilettos!
WEDDING BELLS: Michael Vartan swapped vows with Lauren Skaar in Newport Beach. His former Alias costar Victor Garber was a groomsman!
ENGAGEMENT RING: Country singer Chely Wright is planning to tie the knot with activist girlfriend Lauren Blitzer.
UNHITCHING POST: Elizabeth Hurley filed for divorce from estranged husband Arun Nayar.
SURPRISE: You voted the delicious David Beckham as your top Athlebrity!
TEEN BOMBS: What's MTV's game here? Jennifer Del Rio, a featured mom-to-be in the latest installment of 16 and Pregnant, filed for a restraining order against her out-of-whack baby daddy in February, but then skipped her court hearing and now, apparently, they've reconciled just in time to watch the season premiere together...Jenelle Evans has had a rough week but she still cared enough to bring socks and underwear to her jailed boyfriend...Teen Mom alum Farrah Abraham is writing a memoir.
WEIGHT A MINUTE: LeAnn Rimes, who performed the national anthem at the NCAA Championship game in Houston, tweeted a close-up of her bikini bod and went on the Twitter defensive to insist that she eats pizza and takes good care of herself.
DOWN-LO: Why, Betty White, why? Lindsay Lohan can only wonder why the resurgent Golden Girl put Lindsay and Charlie Sheen over her proverbial knee and spanked them. You don't expect grandmotherly types to scold you unless they're actually your grandmother.
DOLLARS & SENSE: Bristol Palin earning six figures as an abstinence ambassador made some news, but her camp pointed out that lots of celebs are paid by their pet causes for PSAs and whatnot.
MU-THER, PUH-LEASE: Kourtney Kardashian realized it might be a little weird for sister Kim Kardashian to be dating a guy, Kris Humphries, who shares a first name with their mom. "But what am I going to do, change my name? I was here first," upcoming memoirist Kris Jenner pointed out.
R.I.P.: Amanda Bynes lost her 4-month-old Pomeranian to the Great Unknown. Not what a girl wants—or anyone in his or her right mind, for that matter.
ROMANCE ROUND-UP: Jake Gyllenhaal and Jessica Lowndes ate breakfast together, but it's not like they had breakfast together...Nikki Reed and American Idol's Paul McDonald met once and are already (cover your eyes, kids!) Skyping!...Taylor Swift and Garrett Hedlund shared some supper in Nashville, but that's all so far.
MUSIC: Miranda Lambert reigns and Taylor Swift impresses (live!) at the Academy of Country Music Awards...Miley Cyrus actually thinks Rebecca Black is just fabulous...Britney Spears' "Till the World Ends" video ensures that she's not ending anytime soon, and the dancing is all her...Lady Gaga relays a run-in with a Christian fundamentalist who obviously was being more drag than queen...The inaugural O Music Awards hopes to up the appeal by nominating folks like Gaga, Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black and 50 Cent...The Biebs' mom got a little too close to her birthday candles onstage...Lil Wayne didn't want to go to England anyway, so there...The Grammy Awards is doing away with 31 categories, leaving a short 'n' sweet 78 next year...Host of new songs, including Tammy Wynette's "Stand by Your Man" chosen for preservation by the Library of Congress...April 5 marked 17 years since Kurt Cobain took his own life...The Bee Gees canceled an upcoming tour in Brazil after Robin Gibb was hospitalized for stomach trouble.
SCREEN PLAY: Starlet-boyfriends-about-town Liam Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson have landed plum roles in The Hunger Games...The Hangover Part II trailer was a bit too weinerific for the kids...Liam Neeson was also edited out of the sequel and too busy to reshoot, so he's not in it at all!...Andy Serkis will be pulling double duty as Gollum and second unit director for The Hobbit...Bret McKenzie is getting an official, Tolkien-approved elf name...Lily Collins will play Snow White...The Dark Knight will roll in Pittsburgh...M. Night Shyamalan signing on to direct an untitled Will-and-Jaden- Smith-starring sci-fi flick...Lindsay Lohan's going to read for the role of a Superman villain...Steve Carell sticks his nose in Ryan Gosling's business in the upcoming Crazy, Stupid, Love...Russell Brand charms at the Arthur premiere...Reese Witherspoon spills on Water for Elephants costar Robert Pattinson's 12-year-old boy brand of humor...Natalie Portman tries to talk Your Highness but really people want to hear about her baby and the Black Swan body double controversy...James Franco's little brother Dave and his Jack Nicholson eyebrows are attached to Jonah Hill's 21 Jump Street movie...Here's a fierce sneak peek at the star-studded Beastie Boys homage, Fight For Your Right Revisited.
CRITICAL MASS: Arthur vs. Hanna vs. Soul Surfer vs. Your Highness
TV LAND: As always, the slime won at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards...Glee creator Ryan Murphy smartly backtracks on his anti-Kings of Leon tirade...The Glen Beck Show is ending not soon enough...The Kardashian clan has been served by Audrina Patridge's troublesome mum on the eve of their family's new reality show...The Today show will probably lose Meredith Vieira in September and may lose Matt Lauer next year...Happily, 30 Rock is not going anywhere, even though Alec Baldwin sure loves to pretend either it is...Katie Couric is about done with the CBS Evening News...Richard Hatch was booted from Celebrity Apprentice, then publicly asked for a loan from jail...24's final season, which features an instance of radiation poisoning, canceled in Japan...The Real Housewives of D.C. became the first of the Bravo franchise's tentacles to get chopped off...This Jersey Shore-Italy thing finally seems to be happening...Get your season finale calendar (sniff, tear...)...And here are your spring and summer premiere dates (yay!)...Bites from The Vampire Diaries...Arnold Schwarzenegger tears it up (the scene, not California) as The Governator...Lost producer Damon Lindelof is jousting mad at Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin...Kate Gosselin is trying to have an open mind about dating...SPOILER ZONE!
LAW & DISORDER: Is Paris Hilton hoarding jewelry?...Madonna's charity is not being investigated by the FBI...Two men charged with murder in the shooting death of BET host DJ Megatron; they've pleaded not guilty...Thought you knew everything about the Notorious B.I.G. case?...The Wire's Felicia "Snoop" Pearson bailed out of jail, still awaiting heroin-ring charges...Sitcom director (ahem, Two and a Half Men) accused of pulling a really dumb nude-pic prank on his ex-wife...Dog the Bounty Hunter daughter Lyssa Chapman charged with bad behavior...Fresh off a DUI rap, Vince Neil was charged with battery...Rock of Love castoff Megan Hauserman on probation in Miami for DUI.
COVERAGE: Nick Cannon explains his very naked 'n' pregnant wife's Kodak moment on the Life & Style cover...Karina Smirnoff plans to take it all off for Playboy, and she gets the cover, too...Gwen Stefani admits she's prone to vanity in Elle...Sorry, Situation, The Hollywood Reporter has named Ryan Seacrest the "Most Powerful Man in Reality TV".
SURREAL ESTATE: Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's luxurious Encino spread is on the market for $3.199 million...Jack Nicholson's '60s-era spread (don't worry, he took good care of the place) in Malibu is for sale for $4.25 million.
SEEN: Angelina Jolie causing a commotion but not a riot in Tunisia...On the home front, Brad Pitt taking Pax, Shiloh and Zahara to a charity screening of Hop at the Directors Guild of America in Hollywood...Longtime pals Justin Timberlake and Olivia Wilde hanging out at the Roxbury in Hollywood...Jake Gyllenhaal brunching with a mystery blonde at Locande Verde in Tribeca...Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens showing up (separately) to West Hollywood's Soho House for Ashley Tisdale's HSM spin-off DVD party...Jim Carrey, er, rocking a mohawk at dinner at Dan Tana's in WeHo...Cam Gigandet going yellow-blond for WonderCon in San Francisco...David Arquette, Courteney Cox and daughter Coco enjoying a family trip to Disney World (they're still a family, you know!)...Jake Pavelka bolting from a party at Lexington Social House in L.A., supposedly after learning that ex-fiancée Vienna Girardi was in inside...Mario Lopez planting a smooch on his 6-month-old daughter Gia Francesca's cheek at the Grove mall in L.A....Chris Noth flashing his bare bum to the audience as he, Kiefer Sutherland and the rest of the cast from Broadway's That Championship Season walked the runway at the Dressed to Kilt show in NYC...Kathy Griffin hopefully wearing sunscreen on a Florida beach...Emma Roberts sticking up for a fellow shopper at Planet Blue in Beverly Hills...Britney hanging in Vegas with boyfriend Jason Trawick and sons Sean and Jaden.