AP Photo/Carlos Osorio
AP Photo/Carlos Osorio
"I just got back to basics," Sheen tells us. "Gotta go with what got you to the dance and give the people what they want. On the bus someone said, 'You know, we could just keep driving to L.A.' I said, 'F-ck that. That's what losers do. I won.' "
So what did the Chicago crowd experience that the Detroit crowd didn't?
Charlie, sitting in a chair, just talking. Which was the idea he apparently came up with in the wee hours of the morning between Detroit and Chicago. Sheen sat onstage with only a pack of cigarettes and his friend/tour coproducer Joey Scoleri interviewing him.
The show, which began 20 minutes late, started with Sheen receiving a standing ovation from the crowd along with chants of "Detroit sucks!" He then stood before the sold-out audience and read them a letter:
"Dear f--king awesome Chicago," he began, the paper shaking in his right hand. "I'm a veteran of a disturbing odyssey that at times had me questioning the very nature of my soul." Sheen, alluding to the disaster in Detroit, proclaimed he was back and stronger than ever.
Scoleri told the crowd he was going to ask Charlie "all the sh-t you guys wanna know." Instead of videos, rappers and opening acts, Sheen's show was as raw as it gets, much to the delight of the ticket-buyers. Among topics covered during the sit-down:
Marriage: "Marriage for me sucked," Sheen said. "I'm 0-for-3." He then called Denise Richards "the kidnapper" and spoke very bluntly about the night in March the cops raided his house, saying, "Nice try, bitch. I got those kids back didn't I? She sent 9,000 cops to my house looking for drugs and guns. They found one gun from 1848."
His Aspen domestic violence arrest: "I don't know if we can get into that," he said, keeping mum. "There's legal sh-t happening with that. Aspen f--king sucks."
On CBS: "I didn't walk away from sh-t. I got fired. That's not f--king cool. They didn't give a f--k that I was hammered for eight years. But as soon as I spoke back and said, 'F--k you, you're a creep…' I'm not knocking Two and a Half Men. I'm talking about the weirdos who run it. If they hired me back I'd do it again."
On AA: "I just stopped. I don't believe in all your fiction, all your bullsh-t. I got tired of losing. I said, 'F--k all this. It's time for winning.' "
How to be a goddess: After ripping off his shirt and bringing the crowd to its feet, a blonde in the front row shouted that she wanted to be one of his goddesses. "You have to be f--king me. Start there. The rest is up to you!" But apparently Sheen is wary of more than two ladies at a time. "I tried a third. I did. You can't keep an eye on the third one," he complained. "I have two eyes. I have two goddesses. I'm not bipolar. I'm bi-winning." Soon after, the goddesses were paraded out for a photo op.
On paying for sex: "So much f--king easier. Plus, I ran out of sh-t to buy."
The Plaza Debacle: "Here's what really sucks: I never f--ked her! And that's the f--king truth. You owe me a watch and some f--king love. That's what TMZ won't f--king tell you. Trolls, Mutants and Zombies that's what it f--king stands for."
Well, the fans certainly got what they paid for: an in-depth and uncensored look inside Charlie's brain. Afterward, Sheen told fans, "I'm having the best time of my life. Unlike that death sentence that was Detroit."
The show ended with a standing ovation. After the show, Charlie was congratulated on his comeback. "Comeback? That would mean I was down," he responded with a smile.