Happy early Valentine's Day, Glee fans! As a gift to us all, we got another new Glee episode only two days after the Super Bowl spectacle. And it was all wrapped up in a giant red bow of drama, wasn't it?
Since "Silly Love Songs" was such a barrel o' relationship conundrums, let's break down the events of the episode by couples, shall we?
WHAT WE LEARNED (VIA COUPLES)
Rachel and Finn: Any hope for a Valentine's Day reconciliation was blown to candy-coated bits in that nurse's office. Finn gave Rachel all the motivation she needed to start getting over him, but not before telling her she was beautiful. All in all, a bittersweet moment for Finchel fans. Since Finn seems to think he's a god among men after winning the big football game, Rachel should just let him go on his cocky way. We're sure he'll be plummenting back down to earth real soon.
Kurt and Blaine: What a shocking turn of events! Blaine shops at the Gap? The horrors! Oh, and he also sang a love song to someone who was not Kurt in front of Kurt. Ouch. And then Blaine got shot down. Another ouch. But what might have been a step backward for love at Dalton Academy might be a spin move forward for these two, because as Blaine so helpfully pointed out: Harry and Sally ended up together in the end.
Quinn and Finn: Hey, season one. How are you? We thought you were dead and gone, but Quinn and Finn macking on each other means you're back! Did you bring Jonathan Groff? No? Then we don't want you. These two didn't work for a reason (besides the cheating, knocked up with another man's baby thing) and we don't care to see them revisited. But thanks for acknowledging the hypocritical nature of this situation while sneaking around in the auditorium. Season one, get back to our DVD shelves. Then again…
Rachel and Rachel: We love, love, love season one Rachel. The one who wants to be a star, and she'll do anything to get there. The one on the Stairmaster who signs her name with a gold star. That's the Rachel we (and duh, Finn) fell in love with. Finn giving her that necklace was both a sweet moment and a great reminder of who Rachel was before her lovesick ways. We even got a shot of her singing into a hairbrush! Remember those days? Welcome back, O' crazy one. Let your colors burst, all right?
Sam and Santana: We know you saw that little look between them at Breadsticks during the final scene. If you missed it because you were entranced by "Silly Love Songs," go back and check it out. It's not new information that Lips McGee and Satan Santana get their hookup on. After all, the great and powerful Ryan Murphy told us himself. Care to wager how long their union lasts?
Artie-Brittany and Mike-Tina: Why do my favorite numbers always involve Harry Shum Jr.? That's no coincidence. He always adds a little something extra for performances. If Mike staying with Tina and Artie staying with Brittany equal more numbers like that, consider us on board with these two couples. But what was with Tina's meltdown during "Funny Valentine?" Just know that our facial expressions matched Mr. Schuester's by the end of that song.
Puck and Lauren: You are a strong woman, Lauren. Puck armed with a guitar and that voice would make us crumble faster than Snooki after a drinking binge. Not only did he not woo you with his "Fat Bottomed Girls," but Santana finally got what was coming to her. A beat down, courtesy of your badassness and some lockers. Cheers, you awesome girl you.
"I had a cat thrown at me in a nursing home once." —Kurt
"When I don't catch you staring at me...you're staring at her." —Quinn
"I'll just marry an NFL player. They're superreliable." —Santana
"That's my man and his legs don't work!" —Brittany
"Now I'm free to pursue my dreams without anything holding me back." —Rachel
WHAT LIES AHEAD
Bieber Fever: Sam will don the mighty Justin Bieber hairdo and enlist the help of his boys to serenade Quinn. Translation: Sam is starting a boy band. Too late to suggest they sign "Quit Playing Games With My Heart," huh? Since photos released showed Santana and Sam holding hands, we can only assume that Sam and Quinn's time as a couple is quickly coming to an end.
Diva-Off: Single Rachel is here, and she wants to take back the school and her stardom. What better way to do that then to belt out a Broadway number with the other diva in demand, Mercedes? "Take Me or Leave Me" from Rent is about to get the Glee treatment, and we can't wait to see it. Plus, Sue will bring back her awfulness after a tough Cheerios loss and start some drama among the girls in New Directions.
A Groff Return? We don't have an exact guess on when the Groff will be back on Glee, but we do know that he planned to film episodes once his show in London finished its run. And that show ended back in the middle of January, so he could have started filming soon after that. Could it possibly be time for his return to Ohio from UCLA? Ever heard of it? It's in Los Angeles.
School's Out for the Summer: The Glee cast is hitting the road again this summer, so make sure you check out the dates and cities so you can start planning what you'll be painting on that neon yellow poster board.
A Gossip Guy? Good buddies Matthew Morrison and Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford are both campaigning for each other. As in, they might guest on each other's shows. Chace has Matt's role all figured out, and good ol' Mr. Schuester says he would "love" for his pal to be on Glee. Maybe as a rebound for Rachel? Or a new love interset for Kurt? The possibilities are endless.
What did you think of "Silly Love Songs?" Are you on board with single Rachel or will your comment box be full of heartache regarding Finchel being dunzo and Quinn-Finn reigniting the spark? See you down below, Gleeks!
(Originally published Feb. 8, 2011, at 5:56 p.m. PT)