Because when the two extremely sexually active celebs busted up last summer, they both went to great lengths to try and convince everybody it was each their own idea. And, trust us, we're talking major media manipulations to the Nth degree.
Well, who really did do the breaking up?
Paris Hilton: Duh, of course it was Paris, trust us on this one. And even though Doug may have fired the first salvo in his slutalicious war, it was only because he saw the writing on the wall—and also because he knew full well Rick and Kathy Hilton wanted him for their son-in-law about as much as the Reinhardt's family wanted her. Subsequently, Paris has since hooked up with guys way sleazier than Doug. DUI douche jailbird Cy Waits, anybody? Memo to ‘rents: Hold back your objections, it only makes your kids more determined to disappoint you.
Doug Reinhardt: Well, we're dealing here with a guy whose favorite pastime is to whisper into random beautiful chicks' ears, "I can f*** you in any position," so, that's certainly not a great start for Dougie winning this ho-war. But, it's weird, Paris's post-break-up skank has almost completely diminished Doug's, which is really no different than before he even hooked up with Hilton. Could Doug possibly redeem himself this time? I mean, the dude probably thinks you actually chew gum instead of snorting it, right?