Congratulations! You're seven days older than you were last week. To celebrate, let's take a look back at the most titillating moments of the week in Soup.
1. There is much to be learned from The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Pregnant, classy Teresa not only schools us on the fact that "chucky" refers to something other than a mutilated doll from horror films, but that hers is well groomed.
And the fun is just beginning…
2. Who in their right mind would elect droopy paint pusher Lee Dewyze as the next American Idol over the utterly deserving General Larry Platt? Well, almost everybody, but be prepared to see why you choose the wrong talent, America.
3. Tyra Banks may be calling her talk show quits, but that only means there's more time for her to push herself upon an already Tyra-saturated public in "exciting and amazing" new ways. We came up with a few of our own…
4. Either Sean "Diddy" Combs has a tremendous acting ability that has eluded us, or James Lipton is running out of guests. Anyway, Inside the Actors Studio gave entrée to the Didmaster, allowing him a chance to praise the astonishing originality of Notorious B.I.G. In case you're scratching your head, we have a fine example for you.
5. Really, the whole reason to watch American Idol is to steep in the richly entertaining bile spewing from snippy Simon Cowell. But wait. In the final days of the show, apparently the scathing Brit was replaced by a genial double! We're just as shocked as you are.
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All clipped out? Kick back and thumb through our Joel McHale: Male Model gallery.