Dear Zipped Lips:
M.A. and Kristen aren't on hateful ex terms, so there's no reason for him to trash to Twi duo. Pretty mature of the dude, wouldn't you say? He'd sure get a ton of press. As for N.R. and R.Pattz, things definitely heated up—but then became ice cold real quick.
I thought if anyone knew the real deal between Joe Jonas and Demi Lovatos split, it would be you! Why did those two adorable kids split? P.S. Notice the no-so-subtle sucking up?
Dear Disney Dunzo:
Let's just say I'm pretty sure neither of the kiddos is too broken up about the breakup. And yes!
I get all weak in my knees thinking about Johnny Depp and Hugh Jackman and obviously I'm not alone...I can not choose between them. Who would you spend a fantastic dinner and a seriously hot night with? I am leaning towards Hugh, I mean, look at that picture you posted of him! OMG. it's incredible! But as soon as I let my eyes wonder towards J.D's picture, my mind gets all screwed up and I get giggly, it's ridiculous. No, I'll go with Hugh. Or Johnny...No, it'll be Hugh, for sure...I think...Ahh! Anyways, we all loved the competition "Last Real Man In Hollywood". Keep 'em coming honeybun, love your work.
Calm down, babe, they're just men, after all! Unlike you and most other readers, I would not have chosen either Hugh or Johnny for ultimate real-man-ness company. My druthers for dinner and one night of company? Certainly not an actor, for starters. Trouble!
Does Seymour Plow-Me-More's significant other have a few crazy secrets of her own that we need to air out?
Dear Dirty Laundry:
She's married to Seymour friggin Plow-Me-More, of course she's got some secrets! Like kinda girlie ones.
With the shomance over, I am very curious what Reese will do this weekend to get photographed? With all the Prince of Persia hype this week, I am surprised that Reese isn't being "spotted" all over the place or maybe floating a rumor of engagement.
Dear Paparazzi Hot Spot:
The weekend is still young, CJ—there's plenty of time for Reese to decide to do a last-minute shopping spree on Rodeo, new BF in tow, obviously. That's so Reese's way, after all.
In the last Me-Me Dallas BV you mentioned she had done some fooling around with Tobey Yum-Yum when she had a boyfriend, guessing this wasn't her recent flame as you have pointed out Mr. Yum-Yum has fled due to her antics. Therefore were Tobey and Me-Me just a meaningless fling? And more about Tobey, has he found another more caged Me-Me to place on his arm?
Dear No and No:
Don't break my heart—M2 and Tobs were so much more than a fling. And there is no replacing Me-Me, obviously. As much as Tobey may try.
Any house of mouse goss? Selena Gomez and Kevin Jonas seem like the only ones in that group who don't have some secrets up their sleeves. Nick Jonas, Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato, and Miley Cyrus on the other hand seem like they all have some stuff up their sleeves that will make their E! True Hollywood Stories ten years from now very interesting. And will have me shaking my head saying "I knew it!" Am I spot on or am I spot on?
Dear Secret Squad:
You're definitely right on that Disney kids are the best at keeping their naughty antics under wraps, but you're not so spot on when it comes to which of the bunch are the worst. It might surprise you.
Love the column. I'm not a pet rescuer as I'm not allowed one in the building, but I am a proud Auntie to Cookie, a rescue kitten. Got a quick question about my fellow Brit Daniel Craig. Has Mr. Bond ever been a BV? And what are your thoughts on an article I read recently that claimed he was spotted getting frisky with a man recently? Keep up the good work!
Dear to Rush Limbaugh With Love:
Oh, that this were the beginning of James Bond getting out and proud, though I doubt that's highly true. But, wouldn't that be a great kick in the fat ass to America's puritanical set?
Fox has it out there today that our beloved Pattz is schmoozing Reese and telling everyone onset that K.Stew is not coming to visit and that he is single. really? I'd like to know if you've got a "deep water" to tell you otherwise.
—Me in NY
Dear Another Day:
Another stupid Robsten rumor.
What are the most hilariously inaccurate BV guesses you've gotten?
Dear No Stupid Questions:
Hillary Clinton as Toothy Tile?