Bitch-Back! Are Jackles No More?

Fans are very upset Jared and Jensen won’t get any guy-pal time now that they’re hitched

By Ted Casablanca May 25, 2010 11:52 AMTags
Supernatural, Jensen Ackles, Jared PadaleckiJack Rowand/The CW

Dear Ted:
I guess now that Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles are both married to their lovely ladies, it appears Jackles are no more. It looks like they barely see each other, what with a South American honeymoon for Jared and time in the Big Apple to promote the wife's career for Jensen. I guess they wouldn't be able to find the time if they wanted to. Is it the end of an era? Are we never to see those gorgeous guys together again unless it's as the brothers Winchester?
Bummed in Bangkok

Dear True Love:
Two marriages does not a bromance break. These good buds have always known how to have their ladies and a fab friendship, too. That chumminess ain't going anywhere, so I wouldn't get too upset about it.

Dear Ted:
Should Robsten fans be worried about Rob's upcoming role with Reese? They've met before, and I don't trust her any further than I could throw her. Let me hear your two cents, Ted.
Bubbly

Dear Something Out of Nothing:
Rob so isn't Reese's type. R.Pattz isn't good for Miss Sweetheart's image, at least not the one she's still peddling. Plus, she's moved in with Jim Toth. So trust, R.W. isn't going to be the demise of Robsten, far from it.

Dear Ted:
It was tough to choose between two of the hunkiest stars out there. Though I voted for Hugh Jackman, I do feel Johnny Depp's win was well-deserved. Have either of them (or both) ever been a B.V.?
Curiouser and curiouser

Dear Too Good to Be True:
One of them most certainly has. It's a doozy, too! Can you guess who the lucky lover is?

Dear Ted:
So why does George Clooney put up with some publicly awful GFs (if they could be called that) if they are proving to be such embarrassments? Now I read on Lainey that the Italian queen is twittering. Doesn't he have people who manage this sort of thing, or is he in on helping her get a certain amount of celebrity on her own—business as usual?
S

Dear Riled Up:
Darling, everyone who dates Clooney gets their own fame out of it. George knows the game. His precious piece of arm candy, who can hardly speak a lick of English, fulfills her role on the carpet and reaps her rewards on the side, too. It's Hollywood!

Dear Ted:
Kristen
Stewart has been away on a road trip these last days, while Rob had the weekend off work in L.A. Are they getting used to being apart, which is not very usual in a young couple, or are things cooling down?
G

Dear Long-Distance Lovers:
It's getting so very Monday I dread going into my inbox because everyone has a meltdown if Robsten didn't spend every second together over the weekend. Where does their romantic vacay last weekend in Laguna fall? It's normal for couples to be apart! That's the only way they can possibly have a chance at lasting—simple romantic math.

Dear Ted:
Please don't tell me Summit is doing the Jacob-Bella promotional tour again. Didn't they learn anything from New Moon? It backfired big-time.
L

Dear Sorry:
As we reported a while back, the three-way love stuff is going to be pushed a lot during promos. Get used to Lautner's abs again.

Dear Ted:
Could it be possible that Brittany Murphy's mother had anything to do w/ the deaths of her daughter and her daughter's chub-tastic husband, Simon? This just smells convenient for an estate inheritance! Regardless, purely sad because drugs seem to be the issue. Oh and Edith Bouvier Beale, Eads for short, is my favorite new friend who I rescued from the alley behind my house. She talks just as much as the real little EBB!
Holls

Dear Family Dysfunction:
Brittany's mom was hardly a perfect mother, but aren't you getting a little too conspiracy theory here? And remember, Simon had his own issues, as did Britt.

Dear Ted:
It used to be that H'wood couplings were kept very hush-hush, so as not to ruin fans' fantasies of having a shot at being with them. It seems now, however, that celebrity "pairings" are elbowing their way toward that photo op or down the aisle. And I find it interesting that the ones who do this are the very ones whose sexual preferences are persistently whispered about in the blogosphere. I realize there are scores of naive fans out there who'll believe every butt-kissing People article they read, but I personally just feel insulted. Does Hollywood truly think we're that gullible?
Jenny W.

Dear Smarty-Pants:
In a word: absolutely.

Dear Ted:
I've noticed the old Lindsey Lohan movies are all over the cable channels! (Mean Girls, Freaky Friday, Parent Trap). I think that actors get residual payments when their movies play, is that true? But my main question is, does she (or her "people") have any influence to get the movies aired so that she has some income coming in?
Valerie

Dear No Bribe Needed:
Darling, movies are aired to make money, period. The Lohan circus is big bucks right now—and everybody's doing their best to cash in, not just the ringleader herself.

Dear Ted:
I read your B.V.s, and the guesses. I'm much less informed than some of these other Nancy Drews, so I usually don't know where to start when it comes to guessing. But it seems to me that a lot of times, the guessers come to a consensus on a candidate. Would you say that generally the consensus guess is right? Half the time? What?
Drew apprentice

Dear Nancy Drew in the Making:
I don't think I can narrow it down that easily. Certainly people have written in with the correct answer. But I would say most of the time it's not usually who people are so certain it is...with very few exceptions.

Dear Ted:
Is Moisty Mohr Bill O'Reilly? He reeks of skeeze both through the vibe he gives off and his bigoted remarks.
M

Dear So Close:
But you're off just a tad. Actually, this is one Vice where I don't think anyone has correctly figured the answer, pretty friggin' unusual. So I promise you this: Whoever does guess accurately gets answered publicly.

Follow @theawfultruth on Twitter!

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