Joel McHale and Team Soup have spent another tireless week suffering through the best of the worst on TV so you don't have to. Now, let's take a look back at the top five, shall we?
1. Nobody likes a spoiler. Except us, of course, so let us ruin everything for Lost fans with a sneak preview of how the whole thing turns out. Actually it's fake. Which means it's even better.
2. With his trademark twitches, smirks and I-could-be-sitting-in-my-limo-counting-my-money eye rolls, it's obvious that Simon Cowell is thinking about a lot more than some bloody bloke warbling in a pitchy falsetto. On last week's American Idol, the bitchy Brit ramped up the disinterest. But what was really on his mind? Speak your mind in the Soup poll!
3. Can you believe these women today? First they want to vote, then they let 'em up in space, and now they're learning to give themselves orgasms! Unreal! To diehard old-schooler Regis Philbin, at least.
4. There's nothing like watching a burly, bearded, fully-clothed man push out a fake baby. Really. Thanks to Wife Swap, the spousal trading provides the disturbing proof you so desperately crave.
5. Viewers of Real Housewives of New York are well accustomed to wicked backstabbing, vicious rants and big city-level bitchery, but psychotic breakdowns? Thanks to delightfully unhinged Kelly Bensimon, there's yet another reason to tune in.
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And if that didn't fil you up, there's always plenty more in the Soup blog video gallery.