Lindsay Lohan

Clark Samuels/

Lindsay Lohan was photographed this week partying in Cannes next to what looks suspiciously like several lines of cocaine. When she was shown the photo she said, "That's a set up that's so untrue."

We're on Lindsay's side with this one. There's no way that can be cocaine beside her. And here's why...

You see, in this universe, there are certain immutable laws. For instance, E=MC² and F=MA. And, most importantly, C(ys)^ > SP. Or, in layman terms, when "cocaine" (C) is next to a "young starlet" (ys), it will always go up their nose (^) at a faster rate than any human can "snap a photo" (SP).

Lindsay, of course, is a young starlet. Therefore, it is physically impossible to capture a picture containing both Lindsay and cocaine, because said cocaine would always be inside her body long before she agreed to say cheese. It's what's known as the "Courtney Love Corollary."

We rest our case, your honor.     

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