Enjoy a refreshing regurgitation of this week's Soup!

• Two things a real housewife of New Jersey is a master of: zesty Italian cooking and choosing the proper insult for your friend's vajajay.

• Saucy Simon Cowell is genuinely touched to be gifted with something Frank Sinatra used to blow his nose in.

Jessica Simpson has shown us the Price of Beauty. Now she shows a troubled high school girl the price of admiring Jessica Simpson.

• Your beloved Joel McHale brings his charm, humor and morning breath to Today and Live with Regis and Kelly.

• A contemporary of William Shakespeare lauds the bard on Wife Swap.

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