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Hey, it's not all about hooking up with a random guido stranger in some cheap boardwalk bar for a night of shooter-soaked hot tub debauchery on Jersey Shore. Just usually it is.

Though sometimes, it's about freakin' love, bro! Look at Ronnie. This meatball may have a lot of big muscles, but his biggest one is his heart.

And Sammi, this lousy zozzona, she's wipin' the floor with the guy! Got him blubberin' like someone took away his gym membership!

And right when he was gonna put her "in the equation." Ah maron!

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Want more from the Shore? Check out Marc Malkin's exclusive interview Pauly D and the Situation.