Bitch-Back! Swift a Cougar? Tiger a Saint?

Readers hate on the singer dating li'l Taylor Lautner

By Ted Casablanca Dec 18, 2009 1:32 PMTags
Taylor Swift, Taylor LautnerFlynet

Dear Ted:
I always thought that Taylor Swift would like Robert Pattinson more that Taylor Lautner. I'm starting to wonder if Taylor is secretly some sort of a cradle robber or she could even be a cougar. I know there's only a three-year age difference, but jeez!
Patience 

Dear Overanalyzing:
Yeah, she's such a cougar...not. She's in the age-range where three or so years difference is certainly fair game. Hell, guys do it all the time! Rob and Kristen anyone?

Dear Ted:
What's the problem with the name-calling? I'm a female, and I don't have a problem with the Tiger's mistresses being called whores. That's what they are. And Tiger. I mean, they went into sex or relationship knowing he was married and had a family. Most people stop there. To go for it because he's rich and you'll get money makes them more like...well...prostitutes to me. Having sex and expecting some form of compensation. People give it a rest. Yes, he had sex and he cheated. Fine. But these women knew what they were getting into. I kinda feel sorry for the "first" girl that came out, but she's right in there as well. I only feel sorry for Elin. Love your blolumn. Stay sassy!
Vanessa

Dear Feisty Lady:
Dang girlfriend, you did my bitch-back work for me! Just one problem: You're letting Tiger-puss off way too easy.

Dear Ted:
Re: Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon breaking up. What do you make of her statement that she felt pressured into getting married and that Jake wanted to be with her all the time? This, to me, makes Jake seem desperate. I can't help but wonder why he is so, well, desperate to get hitched, if it's true. What's his deal? (Wink, wink.) Love ya lots.
Megley

Dear Hopeless Romantic:
Oh honey, Us magazine's cover is no statement. You can't pressure Reese into doing anything she doesn't want to do. She knew what she was getting into when she started dating Jake.

Dear Ted:
I read this in an article about the Gyllenspoon and I laughed out loud. I found it so funny that I wanted to share..."Jake wanted all of her". She really worried that they didn't have enough in common? He was great with the kids (Ava and Deacon), but she felt like he didn't get the whole scope of what that entailed? Are you giggling?
T

Dear It's Over:
Nothing shocks me about what people will buy these days.

Dear Ted:
In your latest Bitch-Back, mainly covering the furor over name-calling Tiger's ladies, someone asked if Robsten were still together or if it was for PR. You wrote back that they were hardly together for the sake of publicity. Seems like a little hint to me. Is Robsten over?
—Alex 

Dear Chill on the Robsten:
The New Moon premiere and promotion frenzy was in the past, was it not?

Dear Ted:
Why is it that Lisa Marie Presley has just come out to say how she really feels about Michael Jackson? I knew that she loved him and whatnot (saying he was a passionate lover is proof enough).
Patience

Dear Late in Love:
She's late in the game, but maybe she just wants press? Now that most of the buzz is over, she can get the attention all to herself. 

Dear Ted:
Hey, I've recently gotten into watching old Hope & Faith episodes and Megan Fox is actually really funny! I wish she would do a romantic comedy or something of the sort to show her comedic chops. Anyways, has she ever been a B.V.? And if so, was she by herself or a part of someone else's? Thanks so much, I hope you feel better soon!
Gabrielle 

Dear Lovin' Fox:
Nah, Meg is way too out there with all her crap for us to have to hide it in a B.V. And yeah, she does have a sense of humor, heart her!

Dear Ted:
Semester's over, thank God. So since I have a lot of time on my hands. I decided that today I would read some Twilight fan fiction...well it is more of post-Breaking Dawn. Anyways I came across this really, really, really funny one; I also liked that it wasn't like five chapters long, it is merely about two-three pages of a book. It is situated three years after B.D. and it is from Esme's point of view, and I know it sounds really weird (the first thing I thought was next), but then I read the first lines and loved it. It is funny, catchy, and makes reference to a certain time when feathers and headboards were flying around. I think people would love it, so please post it. Much love.
Sandra

Dear Too Much Time:
I read it, thought it was OK...not superfunny, sorry.

Dear Ted:
Has Jake Gyllenhaal ever been one of your Blind Vices?
Andrea 

Dear Jake's Vices:
More like one of our Blind Vice Superstars.

Dear Ted:
Is Rob heading to Sundance if his schedule is clear? Tom Sturridge will be in town, not just Kristen Stewart. So it could be easy to be there for the heck of it and not exactly to make a "relationship statement." I hope he can make it, it sounds like it's gonna be a big moment for Kristen with two films debuting.
Katie in Hacienda Heights

Dear K.Stew Goes Big:
The whole scene seems like something Rob would be into. Here's hoping!

Dear Ted:
Where did Kristen Stewart go? And would you like to see her host SNL, too? I know you always say Rob, but I think Kristen would be very funny to do SNL.
Shake 

Dear Funny Vamps:
I'd like to see all the big Twi castmembers host SNL, or maybe all of them together! But c'mon, admit it, Robby would be the best! Not sure if it's K.Stew's thing.

Dear Ted:
Since we all know that Gyllenspoon may have been together for reasons that don't have anything to do with actually loving and desiring each other, I'm wondering if Reese's marriage to Ryan Phillippe was real. Did they truly love each other, or was that another Hollywood hookup for appearances sake? Is she really over Ryan?
MB

Dear Fake Flames:
She's over Ryan, but probably not the split. I loved them together, and I think they loved each other, too. It's not easy to get over something like that. I interviewed them together a couple of times, they were mad about each other there for awhile (much more so than Reese ever was about Jake, trust).

Dear Ted:
Wow! You have some testy readers! I was the one that called out Tiger's women, and I'm not backing down! Presumably these readers have no problem calling Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan names, correct? It's not even a debate, these are words one uses to describe promiscuous people. Period. Besides, no one said Tiger isn't a slut himself! But I think what your readers are missing, and the point of my original email, was the hypocrisy these women demonstrate. These women are distraught that Tiger was seeing other women. Really? You sleep with a married man and you're surprised he's cheating on you? My point was that if you are easy, don't be surprised if you are treated poorly (by men and society in general), and I just wanted you to share that point with your impressionable young readers. There are women like Elin, and then there are the other 14 women. And if you choose the latter, you deal with the consequences. Yeah, yeah, I know, but life's not fair, so grow up.
Xc 

Dear Preacher Teacher:
The fans can write about anything they want, pretty much, as opinionated and harsh as it may be. But glad you wrote back in defense! I agree with ya.

Dear Ted:
How about a more creative way to describe the Tiger situation? A local radio station calls it "making sandwiches." I'm sure with your snark and wisdom, you guys could be a little more ingenious.
Jennifer Violette

Dear Creative Blast:
I'm not one to beat around the bush; I just say what comes to mind. They are what they are, 'nuff said.

Dear Ted:
I just wanted to check in with you to see how you were doing postbreakup, I hope you're doing better than I am. I'm the one whose 14-year marriage ended with a sickening thud about a month before yours. I also wanted to say that anyone who still believes that gays don't have the right to marry need only look to all of the infidelity floating around. Gays don't make a mockery of marriage, people like David Letterman, Tiger and my husband do! As far as I'm concerned, if we're going to tell anyone that they have no right to marriage, it should be those who have proven themselves unworthy of it! Love ya, Ted! You and my cat are the only men I trust anymore!
Angel

Dear Amen, Sista:
You go girl! Tell it like it is, ef them all!

Dear Ted:
Thank you for the shout-out to Anna Kendrick. I was an extra in a few scenes in Up in the Air, and I'll tell you, she and George Clooney are first-class acts. They talked to us and made us fill comfortable around the set. And I agree, she is probably the best actor (male/female) in the whole Twilight cast. If you don't believe me go see Up in the Air or rent Camp.
BMB

Dear Class Acts:
Love good stories like that. Thanks for sharing, dollface.

Dear Ted:
Jennifer Lopez
is in the latest Allure magazine assuring us she is no diva, but still Jenny From the Block. Is she lying her big behind off?
The_queen 

Dear Glamour Queen:
I'm here to assure you she is quite the diva. And more.

____________

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