David Cannon/Getty Images
David Cannon/Getty Images
We're not going to lie. We'd love to know how Elin Nordegren voted in our Elin Nordegren poll. According to RadarOnline, she decided to deal with her Tiger Woods problem by not dealing with Tiger Woods—and moving out.
But as much as we're hardwired to want the answers, the details, and, OK, the transcripts, of the couple's recent husband-and-wife "discussions," we don't think Mrs. Woods should tell us.
Oh, sure, it'd be hard on us. But the way we figure, it'll be harder on him.
Cue evil laugh.
Imagine, Nordegren never says a thing. Never announces she's dumping Woods, if she's dumping him. Never sits in on a joint press conference to flash her Kobe Bryant rock, if she's keeping him—at a pretty price. Never goes on Oprah. Never writes a book.
Never even files for divorce, if, in her mind, and for all intents and purposes, she's divorcing him.
Complete radio silence.
Impossible? Well, we doubt there's a (good) lawyer who would endorse a virtual divorce over an actual divorce just to keep reporters from digging up the filing.
But as for the rest? We think Nordegren could pull it off. She's no Sally Soundbite—have you ever heard her say a word? She's no reality-show showoff—have you ever seen her on Tool Academy? As far as we know, the woman's not even on Facebook. Asking Nordegren to keep her own counsel is like asking Jon Gosselin for a quote: Not going to be a problem.
The upside of Nordegren's no-profile would be tremendous. She gets to stay Jackie O. classy. Her children get one parent who's not making headlines. And Tiger Woods…
Well, Tiger Woods gets to do all the talking. And squirming. And sweating. And explaining.
Recue evil laugh.
To be clear, we don't want Woods to speak for his wife. We want him to speak for himself. Finally. See, we want to see him dance not because he transgressed—hey, he didn't transgress against us—but because the public figure hasn't adequately addressed the public incident of Nov. 27.
It could be said Nordegren has some 'splainin' to do about that fire-hydrant-busting night, too. And, sure, we know what we think she was practicing her golf swing on. But police said there were "no claims" of domestic violence, and Nordegren friend Lindsay Davenport, the tennis star, essentially seconded that, telling Entertainment Tonight that the missus "certainly did not go after [Woods] physically…that is not what happened." So, case closed. If an investigation into her actions is ever mounted, then, yes, of course, it'll be time for Nordegren to talk.
But right now, she's got no reason to say a word. And every reason to let her husband do all the talking. He's a pretty chatty guy, as we understand.
Tiger Woods started the fire. Let him deal with the flames.
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