When life gives a celebrity lemons, why wait for him to make lemonade when you can serve up a tasty schadenfreude shake? That's what some interweb beat jockeys decided, so they sliced-and-diced a Tiger Woods voicemail to one alleged mistress in a musical refrain destined to sweep the nation (or not): "Take your name off your phone." How romantical!

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Get all the latest on Tiger Woods' big crash of 2009 right here.

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