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Desperate Housewives

ABC/Andrew Eccles

Okay, we've just got to quit spoiling plot points on the fab soap we all love to hate, Desperate Housewives. So thought we'd alert you to something you'll also enjoy later today in Truth, Lies & Ted's latest edition: That there's apparently a new big-haired diva on Wisteria Lane!

I mean, come on, ever since that Nicollette Sheridan broad, with her lighting demands and all got the boot, the all-star cast has been itchy for a replacement babe to bitch about.

Well, guess what? They've found one! And she's not necessarily the one you think she is. Could it be Eva Longoria Parker? Teri Hatcher? Felicity or Marcia, or maybe the surprising shocker of...ably recovering Kathy Joosten

Find out: 

It's so Marcia Cross, the perennially cement-rod-up-her-bum Bree! And, apparently, having an idiotic affair with woman-chasing Karl on the show isn't doing much to shake Ms. C.'s real life reported anal qualities, as it were. "She's the new Nicollette," we are assured by top-level set sources. 

Pray tell why? 

Turns out that Marcia, still a red-headed beauty at 46, is as particular about her puss as was Sheridan, only the lighting department is not so much taxed by Cross as is the makeup department, and others. We are not making this stuff up: 

"[Marcia] keeps us waiting, often, because she has to lie down and wait for her makeup to settle in between applications," bemoaned a fellow DH player, who would prefer to get on with the acting job at-hand, but, at times, cannot, due to Cross's pancake specifications. "It's a pain." 

"This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," replied Cross's press rep, who wouldn't elaborate further when asked. Why would people spin this stuff up out of thin air, I asked? What else could they mean by such a story? No comment. 

Oh, and, funny, the rep didn't say the info wasn't true, but, guess that's just to be implied? And what's this settling biz, anyway? You mean like cement? Heard Liz Taylor used to get in the bathtub to let her makeup get a more natural look, is that the same principle at work here? 

Ladies, please advise here. We must know.


Can you spot any other divas in our Big Picture gallery today?