Big Ego Attack?

Our stinky Blind Vice has ya wondering which big celeb likes to get down and really dirty with his dates (yuck!), and was it just too many visits to McDonald's that got Ryan Gosling removed from The Lovely Bones—or something more diva oriented? Plus, sex-goss on Lindsay (but in an entirely different fashion, this time, promise), and that bitch Tyra Banks has no shame!

So, what really happened with Ryan Gosling and The Lovely Bones, the fancy-ass project he was attached to until this past weekend? If you believe Variety, the talented Mr. Gee dropped out of the film adaptation due to “creative differences.” But if you take Page Six and Us Weekly’s words as gospel, Ryan was fired. We’re hearing it’s more the latter than the former. But why, exactly?

Now, some rags are claiming it was a weight thing. Apparently, Ry was packing on the pounds in hopes of looking more like a grieving, suburban dad and less like a twentysomething heartthrob. Makes sense, right? But apparently, Gosling might have gone too far with his plan, pissing off director Peter Jackson (who’s not exactly swimsuit-ready himself, we must add). Us is claiming Ryan “ate grilled cheese every day” and got the boot for getting too big. The horrors! Could it be that moviemakers are finally holding dudes to the same weight standards they’ve been forcing women to starve themselves for? Should we expect to see Tom Cruise on a steady diet of carrot and celery sticks for his next outing? Sheesh.

We’re hearing that whatever went down was friggin’ serious. Like heady enough that legal action against R.G. may have been considered, as Slate’s Kim Masters was the first to wink to, but no comment on that dicey sitch—or anything, for that matter—has been forthcoming from Camp Gosling. Now, we doubt anyone would be bringing in the legal eagles if the problem was just a few extra pounds, right?

All we know is this: “They were f--king pissed,” a source close to the whole messy biz sassed to us, regarding how the Lovely production was feeling toward Ryan-love. Why, Ry? Not taking kindly to Petey-poo’s direction, as we’re also hearing? This true?

My, my. Something tells us your replacement Mark Wahlberg’s gonna be taking the Jackson-style pointers right up his ol’ Calvin Klein-clad bum, if he has to. He’s no fool.

Nothing like a TV show scorned, eh? Too funny. We were at a fancy-ass H-town do recently. We stopped by the bar, always a trusty spot for getting the (tongue-loosened) awful truth outta folks, ya know. An Entertainment Tonight producer was seething mad at In Touch for apparently stealing away more Lindsay Lohan tips than they would have preferred. But what was really getting the expensively suited tipsy type peeved was In Touch’s presumed methods.

Now, we’ll never pretend this is a family goss column and say we wouldn’t dream of repeating the producer’s claims, but suffice it to say, what had this TV exec seeing scarlet was the fact that—so he claimed—In Touch doesn't exactly mind certain reporters really reaching out and touching some sources. We do not mean Lindsay, directly, mind you, just those quite close to her.

Love it! Who needs to pay off these jokers to get the goods? Screw 'em, instead! Literally. Save money and have fun at the same time! It’s the new checkbook journalism, only let’s call it little-black-book journalism. Guess that means, also, their press releases come with release?

We all love to hate Tyra Banks, right? Yeah-booby-bay-bee! Chatted with a good pal of hers, recently. And as we do get awfully prissy about certain sitches (like, all the damn time) round these parts, Tyra's no exception. So, we bitched-bitched-bitched to the Banks amiga 'bout the babe up and running off to New Yawk with her Hell-Ay-based show, suddenly putting heaps o’ local Angelinos outta work—all for a man! 'Twas a sad bit we broke here at Awful, actually.

Now, gotta say, we were, like, totally expecting some sort of politically correct, sorry-ass explanation from the supertight T.B. babe. Like, we dunno, something to the effect of, "Important guests are easier to come by," or "She wanted to make herself seem smarter by going to New York," or some such line, but no. The reality was even better:

“Well, it is her show, remember.”

Snaps for you, sassy sis!

So, last week, we pondered how the ef Hollywood can get out the sobriety message when so many stars are clearly under the influence. We posed the question to you, highly unintoxicated readers (we’re so sure), and you all must have put on those thinking caps, because your answers were pretty damn good. Here’s a small sampling of your mucho helpful solutions:

Beth in Fairbanks, Alaska:  Hollywood is all about looking forever young, so film the stars before, during and after the ravages of dope and drink on their once-flawless faces, teeth and bodies.

Mary in Santa Cruz, California:  Why doesn't someone look at the real statistics that show just how many people die every day/year of alcohol-related illnesses/diseases/conditions, such as cirrhosis of the liver, liver failure, hepatitis, etc., not to mention drunken driving?

Kim in College Station, Texas:  How about something as simple as a few stars wearing expensive tees that read Sober Is Sexy?

Love that T-shirt idea for Lindsay Lohan! And her testosterone-toy Riley could rock one, too. What do you two lovebirds say?  

'Course, it also reeks like hell, but, trust, when you read our sex snippet on how a very famous and popular heartthrob is using his dates in lieu of the Charmin, well, goss-friends, you'll be flushed with shock! So, grab some heavy-duty latex gloves, gang, it's time for Blind Vice Friday!