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Ashlee Simpson hosts a poppin' party, but where's Pete? And what has Jessica Simpson and Kate Hudson hidin' from the cams? Plus, we bid farewell to a friend and get your take on Tinseltown!
Ashlee Simpson

Ashlee Simpson/UPPA/ZUMApress.com

Last Thursday wasn't just the first day of summer; it was also the longest day of the year! And to celebrate the summer solstice, Stride Gum and Ashlee Simpson threw a little soiree at Teddy's. The hostess of the evening hit the carpet lookin' hot in a bright pink dress. Ashlee's been looking better than ever lately, so we had to ask the youngest Simpson sis how she gets her bod beach-ready.

"I just started working out, since it's now becoming summer," she fessed. "But I still love my pizza...You gotta have fun."

Any fun vacay plans for her and boyfriend Pete Wentz, perhaps?

Pete Wentz

John Sciulli/WireImage.com

"I think there will be a few vacations in there," she semidodged. "But it'll be mostly work for me this summer." Work, as in fretting on her new album, that is. Wonder if Pete will be assisting her? Speaking of the Fall Out Boy bassist, he wasn't at the party that night, although she was spotted at his concert Saturday night at the Forum. What's up with that?

Anyway, Ash didn't stick around her own shindig for too long and ended up leaving before a dressed-down Jessica came later with papa Joe. Jess, along with fellow partygoer Kate Hudson, refused to take pics 'cause they "weren't made up." Come on, girls, it's summer! Work that au naturel look already, would ya?

Also on hand was David Spade, surrounded by a People-ready bunch o' blondes. And Kevin Connolly was flirting with femmes including Haylie Duff. Hilary Duff was hangin', too, and enjoying gratis gum along with Winona Ryder, Eve and Michael Vartan, looking almost as delish as Amazonian historical movie goddess…

Samantha Harris

Steve Granitz/WireImage.com

Raquel Welch, whom I ran into over at the Collette jewelry store opening at Republic (Salma Hayek lives for the Mexican fancy trinket maker, as do many fellow Latinas). R.W., 102, I'm sure, looks, well, 39. Sharon Stone should vamanos to her peeps superfast. I asked the rebel sex gal if she preferred hot stones or studs. "Oh, darling, why not have both?" she purred-queried right above a décolletage that was almost as impressive as that of my preggers E! colleague and Dancing with the Stars host, Samantha Harris.

S.H., adorable and about to pop with her first kiddo, told me neither she nor her hub-unit, Michael (he's hot), know the sex of their baby, due in, like, secs or weeks—not sure, actually. Never too good at gauging all that breeder stuff.

Oh, the above prickly, penis-equipped adjective, by the bitchy by, my dear and easily perturbed Awful Truth readers—I know, I know, look who's talking—is far from offensive to Ms. H. So there.

Anderson Jones

John Heller/WireImage.com

Always one to push the outside of the proverbial (or any one he could possibly find) envelope was my old E! Online and E! TV colleague, the late Anderson Jones. A.J., who used to be this site's irascible, outspoken film critic, passed away from a heart attack late last week. I and all of my E! colleagues would like to extend our deepest sympathies to Andy's friends and family. We will miss him.

And I certainly will—a lot. Andy was just what this biz doesn't have enough of: a bitchy, highly opinionated, well-informed critic of white-bread (banal) media. Andy fought for hours with us over silly movies and sensational styles, and we adored him for it. Well, not always adored, maybe, but he got us riled, and isn't that what the best voices do?

Goodbye, Andy. Your stay here was far too short, in so many ways. Please be at peace.

Dear Ted:
I am writing you to beg—yes, beg, which I haven't done since...well, let's not go into that. I am writing to ask please, with ice cream, a cherry and chocolate sauce on top, can you please give us a clue that narrows down the field of who Fey Ray from One Quelle Surprise Blind Vice is?
  Janele
  Alexandria, Virginia

Dear Gettin' Greedy:
I told you last week he has kids...That's all you're getting for now.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Theo Wargo/WireImage.com

Dear Ted:
I can't believe Jake Gyllenhaal has been the subject of one of your Blind Vices! I always thought he was the all-American boy next door. 
  Rachel
  Hartford, Connecticut

Dear Naive:
I don't know about you, but the boys next door to me had freaky skeletons in their closets. "All-American" is a male aberration.

Dear Ted:
Considering all of the Hollywood scandals you've covered, have you ever heard about a star involved in polygamy?
  Big Love Fan
  West Hollywood, California

Dear Big Love:
What is with this new obsession? Are threesomes just not cuttin' it anymore? I think the only way a star would be stupid enough to be involved in polygamy would be if they were too drunk to remember their first wedding. Oh, wait...

Dear Ted:
Following your "breeder" logic, it's okay for me to call you the F-word as long as I call my straight friends that, too? And it's okay to call Isaiah W. the N-word as long as I make sure to say it to my white friends first? You're such a hypocrite, T.C. Back off the B-word, okay? Otherwise I have read my last Awful Truth.
  Idun
  Copenhagen, Denmark

Dear Idun-U-Wrong:
Jeez, you breeders are more sensitive than us fagolas!

Chris Evans

Tito Media/WireImage.com

Dear Ted:
Could Rubba-Rubba Release from One Bound 'n' Bagged Blind Vice be Chris Evans from Fantastic Four?
  Erica
  Concord, New Hampshire

Dear Bad Guesser:
Rubba wishes he were that good-lookin'. (He once was, almost.)

Dear Ted:
As the leading voice in the U.S. (if not the world) on pop culture and all that is cool, can you please head the charge to cease using the term wife-beater? In Australia we call them singlets. Surely that is less offensive to women and simply more pleasant to say. Go on, use your powers for good.
  Jules
  Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Dear Aussie-Bossy:
Might be more pleasant to say, but isn't the term wife-beater offensive to men, too? Hey, should we switch it to breeder-beater?

Bijou Phillips

Jerome Ware/ZUMApress.com

Dear Ted:
There aren't that many sequels coming out this summer, so I'm gonna go with one of the girls from Hostel: Part II for One Effed-Up Blind Vice. I'm thinking it's Bijou Phillips or Danny Masterson! Am I right?
  Tiffany
  Columbus, Ohio

Dear Seconds Sniffer:
So wrong, sweet cheeks! The babes of this Blind star in a movie that's way more family friendly—no guts 'n' gore galore.

Dear Ted:
I think Virginal Vexed from One Effed-Up Blind Vice is Jessica Simpson. Nice touch putting Nick and Vanessa's pictures in the And It Ain't section.
  Melissa
  New York City

Dear Smug 'n' Sassy:
Sorry, babydoll, but you're gunning for the wrong gal. Wrong hair color, wrong age bracket...although they both do sing.

Heidi Montag

John Shearer/WireImage.com

Dear Ted:
What's your take on The Hills'  Heidi M. and Spencer P.?
  Lauren
  Lancaster, California

Dear Lauren:
I think their presence at children's charity events and romantic sunset beaches and such, with full hair and makeup and constant hand holdin' and lip smackin', speaks for itself. All seems a little forced.