Hallelujah!
More than one Castaway had a come-to-Jesus moment on tonight's Bible Camp edition of Survivor: Redemption Island.
So who achieved a state of grace, and who was thrown to the lions?
Blondes Have More Fun: With their shared faith and flaxen hair, Matt and Krista are a match made in heaven. Shame on you Pastor Probst (Jeff is an ordained minister) for making these two Christian gladiators fight each other in the Coliseum of Redemption Island. But it was "God's will" that Matt take his fourth victory, and the little light that "firecracker" Krista shined on him so briefly at Redemption Island was extinguished along with the buff she dropped in the urn on her way out. (Jeff isn't even trying with that sendoff line.)
Hell Hath No Fury: Setting aside for a moment Special Agent Sheppard's mangling of this metaphor, Andrea was, in her eyes, a woman scorned tonight. Phillip's proposed prodigal-son alliance is suddenly in jeopardy, as Andrea won't easily forget her boyfriend's betrayal with another blonde and her pink Bible. What God giveth...
No Dogs Allowed: Ometepe's self-proclaimed "redheaded stepchild" at least has enough self-awareness to realize that his tribe views him as a dog, but is anyone really pretending to like him? Certainly no one is petting him, and he's only survived this far through the grace of Almighty Rob. It's infuriating (and gross) to watch the girls clean each other like monkeys picking off fleas, but peacemaker Rob Arafat brilliantly realizes that encouraging their idle hands only helps his devil's handiwork/endgame.
Uptown Girl: With David's urging, feisty Stephanie is doing some peacemaking (aka "sucking up to people I hate") of her own at Zapatera while also turning the tribe against Sarita. While David adamantly declares to his tribe that winning challenges is his only reason for ousting Sarita, but it's also a huge power play—at the Redemption Coliseum, Russell had identified Sarita as the tribe's leader, and David views her as a threat. His tribe disagreed and voted to keep their trustworthy team mom, Sarita. If they value trust this much, "loose cannon" David will be the next to go (and he'll "fundamentally disagree" with their vote).
Come to Jesus: While Stephanie scrambled to save herself, Ometepe feasted at the feet of anoter Savior: a massive Christ statue. Rob, stupefied by food, allowed a former federal agent to spy on his secret clue-reading reconnaissance with Grant. For this blunder alone, the Mentalist and the Assassin should have their membership in the Stealth R Us alliance revoked. But hell hath no fury like a provoked lion, gorilla and Specialist who sanitized his country's fields for four years, 11 months and 13 days. Good thing Phillip isn't going to dwell in a place of negativity, because the only ass he's capable of kicking is his own, aside from a barely tolerant An-dray-ah, he's not receiving much in the way of Christian charity from Rob's harem.
'Splainin' to Do: Rob's wife, Survivor champ Amber, can't be too shocked to see her hubby playing lothario with the beauty queens—after all, she owes her own victory to their All-Stars romance—but did he tell her just how close he was cozying to his tribe's bikini babes? Castoff Kristina Kell told us, "Natalie and Ashley would smell like Rob's body odor in the morning because he would have one arm around each of them all night long. The girls would complain about how their shoulders smelled—it was just gross. "
Are you also disgusted by Rob's harem? Did David sabotage himself by aligning with Stephanie? Preach it in the comments!