Did James Clement, Erik Reichenbach and J.T. Thomas welcome another member to their exclusive Dumbest Survivor Ever Club tonight? Is Jud smarter than we (and Jeff Probst) thought? And what do zombies (the monsters, not Dan) have to do with Survivor?
Grab your torches and get on in here...
Wow. Tonight's Tribal Council almost seemed certain to end with a Marty McBye-Bye. Instead, he said farewell to his lackey Jill—with the Immunity Idol she found with Marty resting comfortably in Sash's pocket.
Dumb and Dumberer: Fabio the Freudian psychologist (ooh, snap, Jeffrey!) truly seemed brighter than Marty tonight. In what universe could his surrendering the idol to Sash be considered a "gutsy" move? Tonight's outcome didn't matter. He's not getting the idol back, and now Sash (who I so grossly underestimated) has a huge advantage
Silence of the Lamb: Those sneaky Survivor editors violated Rule No. 1 of reality TV—confessionals and footage are supposed to focus on the episode's eliminated contestant! We barely heard a word from tonight's eliminee. Maybe Jill just doesn't talk that much when Marty isn't coaching her? For what it's worth, at least he didn't throw his ally to the wolf pups tonight.
"The Spot No Guy Wants to Be Hit": That below-the-belt hit Marty delivered to Chase in tonight's Reward Challenge is nothing compared to the kick in the groin Marty's going to feel when Sash refuses to return his Immunity Idol.
Teflon Dan: Agreed, it is a crime worthy of John Gotti that Dan is still in this game. (That's what he meant, right?) Tonight he even got to milk his own milk and make sexist references worthy of Shannon as a reward for standing up during a challenge. "He can't jump either?" asked NaOnka. Who knows, maybe Mr. Martini would've gone for it if the pool was filled with gin and vermouth instead of Fabio's pee.
The Walking Dead: If Dan ever leaves Nicaragua, he might have a job on AMC's new zombie series, The Walking Dead. I caught up with its creator, Robert Kirkman, at the show's Hollywood premiere last night, and he told me he's a huge fan of Survivor: "It's a bunch of people on an island—it's like Lost, but it's real. I just like watching hungry people."
Next Week on Survivor: The tribes merge and individual immunity is up for grabs. Only 12 Castaways remain, but four of them are older, so it might as well be eight. Or nine, if the young'uns decide to keep Dan around until the bitter end.