Andrew Eccles/BRAVOWelcome back to Real Housewife of New York Bethenny Frankel's exclusive blog about The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Bethenny's blogging exclusively for E! Online every week, dishing about the craziness that goes down with these Jersey girls. Here's her new installment, for last night's "Lost Footage" episode.
Take it away, Bethenny...
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This might possibly be the best episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey ever. I think it is because we got to see the ladies interact with their families more, and in completely organic situations. Just really enjoyable and fun to watch!
With that said, here I go again with my schizophrenic analysis of Teresa and Gia with regard to being a stage mom. Lip glaaaawsss and hot pants? Truth be told: They both love the attention. Gia could be the future Italian Shirley Temple. I made my own doctor's appointments at the age of 7, so I am not one to talk. It all seems a bit JonBenét to me.
I love the line "Anna Nicole's funeral" by Dina. Big flowers, over-the-top linens. What do you expect? It's Jersey. Caroline claimed on the show that Dina wanted to retire, but word on the street is Dina never really worked in the first place. To me, she seems to like it. She seems good at it. And she busts her ass when it comes down to the last detail, at least when the cameras are on. J'adore her daughter Lexi.
I really love Caroline's family dynamic. Whenever they're onscreen, I'm engaged. Caroline loves the gangster jargon, but not as much as she loves this family. Albie is definitely the most eligible bachelor in Franklin Lakes. I actually saw him and his sister in Atlantic City, and they really seemed like great kids.
Does anyone love anything more than Danielle's never-ending saga of infidelities, nakedness, kidnapping and physique? The fuel keeps getting fed, and Danielle never gets full. If she slept with someone's husband, or several someones' husbands for that matter, it wouldn't be the first time that happened in a city or suburb. She is by far the most notorious of this crew. She's divided a family, and the gossip here is that no one will set foot near her now. How the hell will they shoot season two? She better get her ass to the Bada-Bing Club and find a stripper to befriend next season.
I can't say anything negative about anyone's pet. They are our babies, and Grandma Wrinkles has a look only her own mother could or would love. Rotten cheese? Yuck. I've washed my dog in the bathtub, but I guess that's different than where you rinse your pasta. Teresa hates other people's lack of "cleansi-ness." Maybe this is why she can't live in someone's used house.
Again, I love any relationship in Caroline's family, including the one with her daughter Lauren. Even a talk about milk is entertaining. And listen to your mother! No fad diets! Cereal should only be eaten once a day. I was thrilled to hear Caroline giving her daughter good advice about body image. I'm sending Lauren my book Naturally Thin immediately, although they'll probably feed their new German Shepherd the pages. Not sure if there is any love lost between Jersey and me.
Do we see a great new home-building plot for season three? Now is the time to buy, or perhaps the ladies would like to purchase Jill Zarin's New York City apartment, which is in their price range and just went on the market. It is incredible what you can get in Jersey for that money. In New York, that buys you a 2,500-square-foot loft in TriBeCa. Many SkinnyGirl margaritas to sell before I can live in the lap of luxury like Grandma Wrinkles.
How fabulous and cheesy is the volcano of love bowl at Caroline and Albert's anniversary dinner? I'm begging my boyfriend for that when we have an anniversary. I love things like that. I would love to have family "as thick as thieves" as this one. It is sweet how they make fun of each other and how the boys are so protective of their sister. Happy anniversary, Caroline and Albert!
I love this week's family scene. Jacqueline's parents are so sweet and to see her so happy with her son is heartwarming.
I love the gaudy shopping scene. Teresa really can and does drop that cash. Good for her. She's a good wife, a good mother, and she wants what she wants. Go get it. I wonder if it ever gets boring. But note to Teresa: Fashion forward doesn't mean jeans and tank tops with studs and bling. I'm not saying that isn't fashionable to some, and I'm not saying it's not forward, just that it's not fashion forward.
Dina is cool. I love fairs and carnivals like this, too. It ain't a party unless someone hurls from too much cotton candy. Not sure that the pigs are enjoying it, but this scene is exactly why this show is successful. These girls really are just being who they are and doing what they do.
Once again: Go, Caroline! She's a tough broad, the real matriarch, and this franchise needed real housewives that do real things that America can relate to. This show is a winning combination of bling, brawn, beauty and brashness.
Lexi is the greatest, and I don't want her to grow up too quickly, either. She's so cute and quirky, and I love her glasses and adorable tomboy nature. I adore the relationship between her and Dina.
I think Caroline is pretty and when she takes a little bit of time to be softer and feminine, it really shows. She was pretty in pink at the reunion and has beautiful eyes.
As for the final confrontation between Teresa and Tom, the makeup man: Um, wow?! I've met Tom. He is a very quiet guy. He really never says a peep. It must have been very hot in that Italian kitchen we call the reunion, because our meatball got a little spicy!