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Our long national nightmare punchline is over. Nearly.

Balloon Boy hoaxsters Richard and Mayumi Heene have agreed to plead guilty to charges stemming from the Oct. 15 nation-mesmerizing incident in exchange for probation but no jail time or, in her case, deportation.

Richard will plead guilty to felony attempting to influence a public servant, while Mayumi, who already confessed and who could have been shipped back to her native Japan should she be convicted of a felony, will cop to misdemeanor false reporting to authorities.

Richard's lawyer, David Lane, dropped the bombshell in a statement this morning. He says the couple won't formally enter their guilt until tomorrow morning. It's unclear how long the probation will last or what other terms may accompany the sentence, though Lane credited the family's desire to stay together with the duo agreeing to fess up to the charges.

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When you're 19 and a whole association tells you they love you, you ought to believe them.

A certain awkward moment Taylor Swift had in 2009 turned into a distant memory when she finally got some time to herself at the 43rd Annual Country Music Association Awards, some of which came at the end of the night when she unseated four-time winner Kenny Chesney for Entertainer of the Year honors.

"I will never forget this moment because, in this moment, everthing I have ever wanted has just happened to me," an emotional Swift, the first woman to win the award since Shania Twain in 1999, said before inviting the members of her band onstage to share the spotlight with her.

And all that Joe Jonas heartbreak turned out to be worth it, because her spunky sophomore effort Fearless, rife with breakup tunes, was named Album of the Year.

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Mike Tyson. Now there is someone you want to piss off.

The former boxing champ was arrested Wednesday afternoon at Los Angeles International Airport after allegedly punching a paparazzo who was trailing him from terminal to terminal and, at one point, followed him into a bathroom.

Both men ended up in custody, however, after Tyson told police that the shutterbug had laid hands on him first to provoke him.

Always a good idea.

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Glad to see Ron Livingston doesn't have Berger's commitment issues.

The 42-year-old actor, who just couldn't deal with Carrie Bradshaw's success on Sex and the City, married fellow thesp Rosemarie DeWitt last week, People reports.

They tied the knot Nov. 2 in San Francisco after more than three years of dating.

Livingston, best known for sticking it to the man in Office Space, fighting for his country in Band of Brothers and reluctantly taking the Goofy job in Swingers, met DeWitt on the set of the short-lived Fox series Standoff.

DeWitt, who was one of Don Draper's pieces on the side in the first season of Mad Men, can now be found in The United States of Tara on Showtime.

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Check out who else has tied the knot this year in our Celebrity Weddings 2009 gallery.

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Another heartrending get for Oprah Winfrey.

Charla Nash, whose face was destroyed by her boss' pet chimpanzee in February, revealed the extent of her injuries for the first time during an interview that aired Wednesday on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

"I don't remember anything," Nash said, speaking on what was her 56th birthday, of the attack that left her severely disfigured.

"I told the doctor that I don't want to remember because I can't imagine what it was like. If I do start remembering, getting flashbacks, they have medicine to help me with that...I want to get healthy. I don't want to wake up with nightmares."

(Video from the interview is after the jump. Please be advised that it contains graphic and disturbing images.)

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Hey, if everyone's seen you naked anyway...

Prominent porn studio Vivid Entertainment has re-extended its $1 million offer to ex-Miss California USA Carrie Prejean to star in an adult film, hopeful that she'd be more receptive to the idea now that they know it's not a matter of her being too shy to strip for the camera.

And timing is everything.

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Rihanna and Chris Brown's promotional schedules may have curiously collided in the past, but this is just getting ridiculous.

Last month, Rihanna released her highly anticipated comeback single, "Russian Roulette." Brown chose the same day to announce his tour plans, which he followed up, two days later, by releasing his new single, "Crawl."

Then last week, Rihanna sat down with Diane Sawyer for an emotional and revelatory two-day interview. Brown answered the appearance as best the ratings-poison singer could, spilling his own oft-repeated secrets in a same-day interview on MTV.

Well, get ready for a shock: Rihanna's music video has long been set to premiere on 20/20 this Friday. And in what can only be described as a shameless piggybacking publicity ploy coincidence, guess who else decided that a musical return to the airwaves was also in order?

Brown has been booked on Friday's Wendy Williams Show, where he will both chat (though probably not much) with the hostess and premiere the not-nearly-as-anticipated music video for his single. But while Rihanna has offered no clues on what we can expect from her video, Brown has given fans a few sneak peeks, having already released promotional pictures of himself and Cassie on set.

But, credit where it's due, one thing Brown has managed to do all on his own is stay on top of the terms of his probation.

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DreamWorks; NibarikiGNDHDDT/Disney; Disney/Pixar; Twentieth Century Fox

Now here's a Balloon Boy Hollywood can really get behind. As expected, Up leads the record 20 eligible films for the Best Animated Feature Oscar at the 82nd Academy Awards.

Disney-Pixar's latest instant-classic, which is also aspiring for a Best Picture nod, seems a lock for one of the five animation slots when the nominations are announced on Feb. 2.

Jockeying for the other four will be intense. Japanese master and previous Academy Award winner Hayao Miyazaki hopes for some Oscar bait with the acclaimed hand-drawn Ponyo, about a goldfish who wants to be a little girl.

But he'll need to ward off a slew of big-budget, big-box-office, big-studio submissions, including DreamWorks Animation's Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs and Monsters vs. Aliens, 20th Century Fox's Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Universal's stop-motion creepfest Coraline, and a couple other Disney efforts: the Jim Carrey-powered A Christmas Carol and the Mouse House's  return to traditional hand-drawn fare, The Princess and the Frog, due out Dec. 11.

Another forthcoming film that has a shot is Fantastic Mr. Fox, quirkmeister Wes Anderson's first foray into animation, a stop-motion adaptation of the Roald Dahl featuring voice work by George Clooney and Meryl Streep.

Get the complete list of qualifying films after the jump.

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We'll cut right to the chase: Nicolas Cage was once stalked by a mime. Yes, that kind of mime. And yeah, that sounded about right to us, too.

While other terrorized celebrities follow the tried-and-true formula of being menaced by the more traditional knife- and duct tape-wielding crazies, leave it to Cage to break from the mainstream, even when it comes to unwanted pursuers.

"I guess it would fall into the stalker category more or less," the financially ruined actor told Parade of his nearly 10-year-old encounter.

"I was being stalked by a mime—silent, but maybe deadly. Somehow, this mime would appear on the set of Bringing Out the Dead and start doing strange things."

Stranger, presumably, than walking headfirst into invisible gale-force winds, unpeeling transparent bananas or attempting to make his way out of an imaginary box.

"I have no idea how it got past security. Finally, the producers took some action and I haven't seen the mime since. But it was definitely unsettling."

It's probably safe to assume the mime would have no comment on the incident. Or, you know, any incident.

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Granted it's a sliding scale, but Cage would probably prefer this type of headline to the sort he's been generating lately.

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This is not the type of baby news we like to deliver: Céline Dion is no longer pregnant.

Last August, the golden-piped songbird and husband René Angélil confirmed that she had only just become pregnant with her second child after undergoing a round of in vitro fertilization treatments.

Unfortunately, that is no longer the case: Angélil confirmed to the Journal de Montreal that the 41-year-old Canadian chanteuse is no longer in the family way, as the embryo transfers—which took place in August and October—were ultimately unsuccessful.

Angélil said that both they and their doctor "believed that the procedure/pregnancy took, but that wasn't the case. We found out some days later. We were shocked."

But not deterred.

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