R. Lee "Gunny" Ermey is a man of passion, especially when it comes to guns. For R., there's nothing like a sweet hunk of lead-spewing weaponry to get the man all worked up.

And, after an intense three-way with an M16 and a well-drilled target, ol' Gunny needs a nap. And perhaps a towel.

As Meredith Vieira points out, it's no secret that proud dads like to see their sons reflected in themselves. There's nothing cuter than matching haircuts and Hawaiian shirts, but why stop there?

Just imagine your pride years down the road when envious pals are admiring his stylishly snipped member and he can say, "Yep, it's just like my old man's!"

From the look on cougary, divorced relationship counselor Trina Dolenz's face, the oral exam will be particularly interesting.

For tools T-Shaw and Tyler, maybe not so much.

After overcoming a lifelong battle with excessive eating and finally ridding herself of the insatiable craving for calories, Biggest Loser Shay is reunited with family and friends.

Who greet her—keep your eye on the lower right corner of the screen—with a table full of big fat yummy cupcakes.

How thoughtful.

It's sad but true that so many folks who wind up in front of Judge Jeanine Pirro bring issues that could easily have been prevented simply by doing the right thing. Or not doing the wrong thing, like performing sexual favors. On people who don't even want them.

Make no mistake. Lock N' Load host R. Lee Ermey (you know, the drill sargeant in Full Metal Jacket who got fragged by Vincent D'Onofrio) loves him some guns.

Now the aging ex-marine—who sounds like he could use a squirt of Polydent—has his own show to prove it, gushing on about automatic weapons and their part in military history.

Here, the leatherneck recreates the famous WWII battle where our boys gave a taste of high-caliber hell to a batillion of savage, far-eastern watermelons.

Light-on-his-feet Aaron Carter has nothing but admiration for his Dancing With the Stars partner Karina Smirnoff.

He calls her "amazing," reveals she's his "backbone" and admits he "wouldn't have been able to get this far without her."

Apparently she's carried not only Aaron, but a multitude of germs, as well.

_______

Fleet foots to lead foots, check out our gallery of DWTS hoofers!

It's tragic, heartbreaking, unbelievable. That's right, things have gone south between Ray J and Cocktail, the winner of last season's For the Love of Ray J.  Who could have guessed? 

Speaking of guessing, if you were wondering about whether contestant Danger was actually preggers—as were the folks of Good Day New York—see Ray J attempt to keep a secret.

And it's not just dumb luck that's allowed Sean "Diddy" Combs to rise to the top. Lording over the proposed ad campaign of wannabe worker bees in I Want to Work for Diddy, the icy entrepeneur shows the incisive taste and outspoken attitude that separates the Diddler from the rest of the pack.

Where some see legs, he sees crotch. And plenty of it. 

Extremely serious Cheaters host Joey Greco will stop at nothing to nab duplicitous heartbreakers in the act, but such delicately orchestrated work is a serious team effort.

Here, Greco enlists men with bulbous red noses who know their way around a fistful of balloons to nab a straying BF.

Enjoy your popcorn while you can, you cheating bastard.

Let it not be said that the Lamas sisters are unaware of their ethnic heritage.

As Dakota observes, Shayne is Latin, which makes her upcoming lingerie spread for Hombre ("For Men of Passion") magazine such a meaningful personal celebration of a grand culture.

Your move, Lowrider.    

Papa Lorenzo has his hands full in this sneak peek from this Sunday's episode of Leave It to Lamas when kooky Shayne and her BFF Amber take their bodacious keesters out for a stroll during a biker rally in Sturgis, South Dakota, guzzle shots of tequila and try on assless leather chaps, much to the delight of an audience of horny bikers.

Now that's reality!

_______

Looking for more Lamas? Check out the Lamas Family Photos gallery.