The Awful Truth

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Which mess of a celeb's credit card was declined while partying in New York over the weekend—leaving a friend to pick up the hefty tab? The star was there to attend the Video Music Awards, but instead seemed to be competing for the drunkest-mess-of-the-night award.

Think you know the celeb unable to manage money or liquor?

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Karin Bubas/ Charles H. Scott Gallery

We might be idiotic enough to let The Hills into our homes when we're flipping through the boob tube, but we know it's trash. Who knew there were people out there who consider it...art?

Artist Karin Bubas currently has an exhibition in Vancouver displaying several pastel portraits of the MTV faux-reality-show stars making their signature expressions—whether it's crying, sneering or talking on a cell phone, 'natch. 

The title of the exhibition? "With Friends Like These..." Too perf, doncha think?

Our fave is def a mascara-smeared, sobbing Lauren Conrad, tho we're not sure why she's so upset, since her replacement, Kristin Cavallari, didn't make the creative cut.

We totally dig these drawings, but as far as hanging them in our house or waxing poetic about meaning and art while gaping at 'em in a gallery? We're not so sure we could do that without cracking up.

How about you? Is this totally awful or really awesome? Regardless, at least they can't talk, that's one better than the reality show right there.

Chris Polk/Getty Images

The Hills has just started filming its first Lauren Conrad-less season, and if Kristin Cavallari and Stephanie Pratt chocolate-tasting is any indication of what's in store, it's going to be the most spellbinding, mesmerizing season yet.

We're totally on the edge of our seats wondering what other mundane tasks lie ahead for the MTV crew. Hillsite Brody Jenner dished about the show at the Aces & Angels Poker event at the Playboy Mansion, as well as his relaysh with his girlfriend and Playmate of the Year, Jayde Nicole. Brode, you're supposed to bring a date who'll be impressed you're bringing them to the Playboy Mansion, not somebody who's already been there, done that, spread that, shot that.

Are you worried about ruining your relationship by having your girlfriend appear on your TV show?
Back at the house relaxing, we don't talk about The Hills. We keep our business and personal life completely separate.

That's strange! Being that you're on an alleged reality show about your day-to-day life. That's incredible that the two don't overlap! Anyway, how will The Hills be different with Kristen Cavallari instead of Lauren Conrad?
She's wild! I think Kristin is a great addition to the show—her and Lauren have completely different personalities. It'll be a good change.

Sure will! K.C. goes back to what she does best—shopping in front of an audience—and L.C.'s on her way to being the next J.K. Rowling. Any thoughts on her book L.A. Candy?

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Flynet

Kristin Cavallari and Stephanie Pratt, swooping down on Compartes Chocolatier in Brentwood on a Friday afternoon with—natch!—a camera crew in tow.

Ya think any outings between these two would go undocumented? Unlikely.

A source says K.C. was "supernice," despite her mean-girl reality-TV persona, and added the "superskinny" stars weren't afraid to devour a big ol' plate of chocolates, marshmallows and gelato. Riveting TV, folks, we know you can't wait.

One gal who actually works for her paycheck as opposed to just going shopping was...

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Miranda Penn Turin/MTV, Alexandra Wyman/Getty Images

If what we saw on The Hills were anything like the characters' real lives, we might still be watching this show. 

Audrina Patridge seems to have gotten herself into many penile pickles. For starters, she was "coincidentally" seated next to nonboyfriend Chris Pine. Aud claims it was totally by chance, not because she's gone on dates with him. Wonder what MTV strings her people had to pull for that stunt to happen? We all know she’s benefiting from this publicity more than he is.

Despite (in our opinion) the poor managerial judgment of Pine's people there, the Hills honey had more drama on Movie Awards night than just that.

Check it out:

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AP Photo/Matt Sayless, Jon Furniss/Getty Images, Jordan Strauss/Getty Images

Paris Hilton doesn't know who the hell Chris Pine is, but another oozing H'wood club lover sure does! Audrina Patridge not only knows who Cap'n Kirk 2.0 is, but what, exactly, to do with him, to boot.

The two babes, as I'm sure you know, were seen at Silverlake bar Red Lion Tavern this past weekend, and were also spotted leaving Pine's apartment the next morning, separately, but just a few moments apart. Way to keep it discreet! Why not just wear a sandwich board screaming "Stop Paying Attention to Me!"?

But…is Aud just dating the dude to get back at Conrad replacement blonde Kristin Cavallari? Spencer Pratt himself gives us the deets on the new drama certain to be on the next season of The Hills:

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John Parra/Getty Images

What with Miss Cali's fib-producing puss, we're getting to be total lie detectors here at A.T. For ince: What about Kristin Cavallari taking Lauren Conrad's role, er, spot, as the main blonde on The Hills (better luck next time, Mrs. Pratt)?

It's so not surprising that they're beating this show like the deceased equine it is. What's more shocking is Kristin totally lied to us!

"I'm done with reality. For good," K.C. told us only two months ago at a WeHo shindig. Did somebody finally realize she can't make it in nonfiction, or is the Hills money way too good to pass up?

Of course, Cav-hon says the reason for her return to reality is "to get my fans excited about me again. When I first started out, I had a celebrity name, but I didn't have the acting skills I have now."

Gotta love the girl's honesty that there's nothing but pure performance on the show! But does she really consider one episode of a CSI and a Van Wilder sequel a master class in acting? That's how Meryl Streep honed her craft, right?

Lindsay Lohan, sitting in a corner table at MyHouse during Us'  Hot Hollywood Party Wednesday night. L.L. was getting her chat on with a guy friend for most of the night as she puffed on a cig, looking completely frail.

As for her entourage? Nowhere to be found.

Back in Lindsay's club-throne years, her table was the place to party-partake. Circa Wednesday, looked nothing like those times—as Linds only had a security guard and two clingy girls at her side, and we're told they were most likely reporters working the venue.

Lindsay may be superalone, but she knew when it was time to go, peacing out pretty early. Smart move, leaving fake friends behind—maybe she isn't so hopeless after all?

The most crowded table in the center of the club hosted...

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Denise Truscello/Getty Images

God help the celebuspawn of Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt. Think we're getting ahead of ourselves? Well, over the weekend Pare told our Hollywood Party Girl that Doug is "going to be my husband."

And sources thisclose to the couple say P might not have been exaggerating: 

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Will Binns, PacificCoastNews.com

While Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt took a romantic vacay to Maui, it looks like it wasn't all intellectual convos and cuddles for the adorable pair.

As the two hung around the Grand Wailea pool together, an island babe tells us D was more of a Sherpa than a boyfriend. We're told his job description was to carry her stuff and play photographer.

"He follows behind her and takes pictures with fan's cameras while they pose with Paris," sassed a pool lounger. Surprisingly we've had multiple people write in about how damn pleasant Miss P has been down there. Hey, this is a smart gal—she knows she has the upper hand when the other half of her relationship is this much of a douche.

Play the game, girl, he'll do whatever you want as long as he keeps getting free publicity out of it.

Ethan Miller/Getty Images for Pure Management Group

Lauren Conrad's heave-ho-ing herself outta The Hills, which means we're inevitably gonna be stuck with more Speidi than ever before. Thanks, Laur.

"I don't think we'll ever take a break from the cameras! We love you guys!" squealed Heidi Montag at Star's Young Hollywood Event at H'wood's Apple Lounge.

Not even for your honeymoon, if you ever get officially married and not just faux-hitched? "You'll have to see on the show!" was all Miss Montag (or is it Mrs. Pratt?) would reveal to us. "You'll all be invited to the wedding, promise!" added Spencer.

Can we bring a vomit bag as our plus-one?

Michael Caulfield/WireImage.com

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt refuse to let this season of The Hills be their swan song. (We're readying ourselves for a lifelong headache of supercheesy staged photo ops.) But what about the original SoCal reality babe, Laguna Beach's Kristin Cavallari? Is she planning a return to the boob tube now that reality-TV queen Laur's on her way out?

Shocking, simply shocking news is about to be revealed:

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