The Awful Truth

Jesse Grant/Getty Images; Mark Sullivan/Getty Images; Courtesy of Ralph Notaro

Any guesses as to which reality-star boozer was quite the embarrassment in Miami over the weekend? When asked at a party by a reporter what she had been up to lately, the eloquent gal said this:

"I went to Africa. I had a baby. I don't know where it is. F--k, who cares!"

Make your best guess and find some truth after the jump: 

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One of the more talked-about commercials of the Super Bowl was the Motorola ad with Megan Fox naked in a bathtub.

No, it wasn't the stripped-down Fox that piqued people's interest (we've happily all seen that before). It was the fact that she used a hand double in the ad...

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Say it ain't so!

OK! magazine claims one of our fave gals Cameron Diaz was spotted getting her flirt on over the weekend with notorious slug 'em and leave 'em douche Alex Rodriguez.

The pair was in Miami for the Super Bowl, and Cam was apparently grinding all over A-Rod at the CAA bash at the W hotel Saturday night.

So did Alex and Cameron take their flirting a bit farther this past weekend?

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Sony Pictures

Dear Ted:
I know that Channing Tatum is married and Amanda Seyfried has a boyfriend, but I can't help but wonder if there's anything at all going on (or went on) between these two. They're always complimenting each other, flirting and touching each other in interviews. Can you give me some scoop please?
—AMG

Dear Chemistry Cop:
Let's think of it like reverse hookup psychology: When you aren't doing it behind the scenes, it's superfun to innocently flirt around. When you are up to something naughty, you're totally awkward about it in front of the press. Like when Brad and Angie would purposely stand 10 feet away from each other during certain Mr. & Mrs. Smith promos.

Dear Ted:
Would you please explain something to me? How does Mel Gibson still have a career? How is it still possible there are still people who are willing to work with this homophobic, anti-Semitic, misogynistic, humorless ass? For the life of me, I can't figure it out.
—Lee

Dear Confused:
Good question—but Mel's new movie looks so bad that hopefully it pretty much does the job itself, and that would be cementing himself as a failing actor. Remember tho, this bad boy has enough cash to keep doing his thing even if no one wants to see him do it.

Dear Ted:
Your story on Tony Romo has holes. Big ones. Romo is over Jess...shock! He's been out still playing and you will see more of that now that the season has ended. Back to the same games and I'm sure your source will not admit that, either. I will be the first to apologize if I'm wrong, believe me, but I know I'm not wrong. Carrie called him out for doing her wrong and I'm really waiting to see if Jess says anything on Oprah on Feb. 24. Poor Candice or any college girl that gets sucked in, 'cause that's who he is back to hitting on! What would you say if I contradict and tell you Tony tried to get back with Jess? Your source would deny of course.
—Gossiper

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Bauer-Griffin.com; nationalphotogroup.com

The verdict is out on whether you all are for or against hot-bodied Jennifer Aniston possibly hooking up with Gerard Butler. But one thing's for sure...We believe these two are having more fun than Brad and Angie, damn straight!

Of course, we didn't miss Brangelina's superhappy appearance at the Super Bowl. We've never seen this usually don't-give-a-crap couple care so much about a split story. First, they are actually smiling for the paparazzi, and now they are suing NOTW.

It's just so not like the too-good-to-care duo. Doth shall not protest too much come to mind anyone?

So, both couples put on quite the shutterbug shows. Which duo do you think was having more fun?

__________

Catch up on all the missed Super Bowl action here

Bauer-Griffin.com

Dang, girlfriend, talk about a walking ad for yoga, cigs and margaritas.

Jennifer Aniston, who loves to blab about how she keeps her body fit through the mental and apparently physical practice (while still not denying herself life's more dangerous offerings, and we're not just talkin' men), was frolicking around Mexico over the weekend with...well, Gerard Butler, of course.

So are Jen and Gerard as hot as her fortysomething body?

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Mischa Barton was spotted getting her shop on at the L.A. Vintage Expo in Santa Monica, and it was a good thing, too. Other fashionistas on-site say Barton looked like hell, wearing baggy Hawaiian print shorts, leggings, a leather jacket and "hair that had been burned by a curling iron."

The former It girl appeared washed up while she shopped the 1960s-era clothes with a girlfriend.

So what made the "actress" throw a total 'tude fit?

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Rumors are swirling again that Tony Romo and Candice Crawford may be ready to walk down that aisle.

Back in December, Candice (Chace Crawford's sister) was spotted sporting something shiny and diamond-like on her left ring finger, but colleagues of Candice's were quick to shoot down engagement rumors.

However, friends close to the Dallas power couple fess Tony and Candice really are getting that serious...

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Brian Zak / AP Images; Courtesy: Dolce & Gabanna

"It's not his thing. He's not always on like Taylor is."

—Robert Pattinson insider, when asked if the hunky Edward would perhaps be pulling an SNL appearance, just like his arch Twi rival, Taylor Lautner, did recently. Well, it is a media question worth pondering, considering R.Pattz's Remember Me media tour's about to hit big.

Or is getting grilled by Barbara Walters on The View more Robert's movie-star speed?

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Dear Ted:
Can't see any change in Lady Gaga's weight between April 2009 and January 2010. You are full of bulls--t!
—Anne

Dear Shoot and Kill the Messenger:
She was alive before 2009, you know.

Dear Ted:
I'm done reading the A.T. after your latest post about Alexander Skarsgård. Why do you feel the need to crap all over him all the time? Don't make a joke about you only posting about people you like because this obviously isn't true. This article is a clear case of defamation of character based on rumors you and your staff made up on a slow day at the office. Also, I've never read anywhere that Gaga is considered fat; you made this into a topic. Please explain to me how this is helping the cause? You clearly are a simple-minded douchebag!
—Anne

Dear Anne (Again):
Honey, get back to Reading Comprehension 101. First off, you know very well we adore Skarsgård, still do. Second, we don't think Lady Gaga is fat! Just telling you some behind the scenes chatter. You do know this is a gossip column, right?

Dear Ted:
My first B.V. guess is that Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off would be TomKat. She's from Ohio and Tom is Tom. It would help confirm the supposed business contract that was drawn up when they got married.
—Bob

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Dear Ted:
What's the deal with Perez Hilton and his attitude toward Kristen Stewart? I get that his thing is to be "controversial" and speak his mind, but he seems to be unnecessarily nasty toward Kristen. By all accounts, she seems to be a down-to-earth and talented young actress. So what's the deal? Is it just that she doesn't kiss his butt like some celebs do, or does he actually have a reason to be crappy towards her? I always find his comments about her to be petty and petulant.
—Jack

Dear Perez Pooper:
For each hater, K.Stew has plenty of fans, so I'm sure she isn't crying herself to sleep at night thinking about Perez's jealous bitching...that is, if she knows who he is.

Dear Ted:
I woke up this morning from a terrible nightmare in which Angelina Jolie was a mastermind bent on destroying me. I think that I ought to turn it into a movie script. I think she'd be the perfect villain. Thoughts?
—X 

Dear Dream Weaver:
Sounds like a case of art imitating life.

Dear Ted:
Drugs, Nudity...and the Jonas Brothers? Was Trace Cyrus right when he said they aren't as squeaky clean as we think they are?
—I

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Kim Kardashian starting the party early last night without Super Bowl contender and supercute BF Reggie Bush at STK in Miami.

The once-most-famous Kardashian, dressed sexy as ever in a cream-colored blazer and burgundy dress, was dining with BF replacements Kris Jenner and her best gays, Lance Bass and Jonathan Cheban.

So where was the boyfriend?

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