The Awful Truth

In the spirit of taking a double-T break (Twilight and Tiger) for you fed-up readers, we have some fun, girlie boob-tube stuff!

Courteney Cox's show Cougar Town kinda became a hit out of nowhere ('tho we're more partial to Modern Family). So we chatted with arguably the best part of show, Busy Phillips, at the Friends Without a Border Benefit.

Über-talented Busy plays Courteney's much younger colleague, the one who's always pushing Cox to embrace her inner cougar. And she dishes to us on Court's onscreen reunion with Lisa Kudrow, her man talents and whether Jennifer Aniston will be making any appearances...

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With the dozen or so girls stepping up to the media plate claiming to have scored a hole in one with Tiger Woods, it got us thinking: After their five minutes of fame, where do they go from here?

Sorry, Jaimee Grubbs, but dancing on tables at Hollywood clubs next to the likes of Leighton Meester isn't going to be your life forever. Oh no, leak all those supposed sex texts you want, but you're gonna be banished from this town fast.

Maybe to get a better sense of what the future might look like for this army of slutzillas, we should take a look back at other notorious fame-chasers.

Behold! Our Homewreckers: Where Are They Now? gallery.

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Team Tiger is having a hard time believing this porn actress Holly Sampson—who recently issued a statement confirming that she slept with (and then some) Mr. Woods—did in fact do the nasty with the pro golfer.

Some buds in Tiger's circle don't agree with everything he may or may not have done, but they are now standing up against certain women they believe to be full of crap.

One of our Tiger insiders very much doubts...

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Could we all not use a two-sec break from dogs like Tiger Woods? I mean, we bitch and complain so much here at the AT that readers ask who do we like in Hollywood. We get that a lot. So, here goes:

One babe, for starters, would be Anne Hathaway. The twentysomething beauty hit the scene during the rise of Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff…and it's pretty damn obvious, with an Oscar nomination under her always stylish belt, which direction she went in compared to her then competition.

Anne balances her career, boyfriend, friends and many gay boyfriends, and still manages to find time to give back:

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Dear Ted:
Are Tobey Yum-Yum and Me-Me Dallas the same age, and are they musicians or actors? Please give us some hints on this couple. How about this: Do their names rhyme with Smiley Fyrus and Lick Bonus? (Am I hot or cold?) Haha. Please give us hints.
—EMC

Dear Hilarious:
That wasn't exactly so well disguised! Tobey and MeMe are def in the same age bracket. They're multi-talented.

Dear Ted:
Tiger & Co.—Not Gays—Make Mockery of Marriage. Ted, you're so spot on with this. All this Woods stuff has made me nauseous, too. I used to be quite the religious girl, but it had left me with such a bitter taste of major hypocrisy and irrationality that I passed on it long ago. I think too many citizens of this country still hold onto religious canons with clenched fists while their eyes (and bodies) wander about! I swear it's all these religious men with power that pull all the strings. Cheating family man, no biggie. Women on awards shows making out, no biggie. Gay men kissing—oh no! I'm married with a couple little ones, I consider myself a virtuous person, and thanks to amazing people like yourself and Ellen, I've grown to have a far deeper respect for the gay community. I'll take happy gossip of gay couples over this nasty Woods stuff anyday!
—Kristin

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E! Networks

While Rachel Uchitel's so busy telling us she's just the sweetest li'l thing, and not at all the nasty hooker-type Joy Behar joked about, we're hearing she had herself a nice, hotass affair two years ago, shortly before landing her recent tabloid goldmine guy, Tiger Woods. You know, the dude who's reported association with Uchitel has gotten her offers from Playboy and the scorn of many, yada yada.

Now, Uchitel slobbered over hottie musician Jaron Lowenstein in the south of France several months ago, and somebody who was around for the fireworks had this to say:

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We may have a naughty ticking clock here at the A.T., counting down to when we think Brangelina will call it quits, but that's not happening anytime soon.

Either way, the superstar couple managed to keep all eyes on them as they attended the UNICEF Snowflake Ball honoring producer Jerry Weintraub last night at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel here in Los Angeles.

Angelina Jolie, stunning in a slightly embellished cream gown (really, Ange, way to bring it) was accompanied by life partner Brad Pitt, who was looking a little worse for wear.

So how was the couple interacting? 'Cause, you know, according to the tabs, Brad's thisclose to grabbing the kids and running...

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"Somebody's hard-on doesn't go down for three days. A hospital is involved."

—Kim and Khloé Kardashian, telling us rather loose-lipped secrets to their new season, which starts next week, can't wait!

The K-girls, all in spiked heels and tight everything, were practically oozing with real Rachel Uchitel-style sexual tension as they dropped hints at their notorious fam's naughty doings.

Hmmm. Wonder, who the poor boy involved could be? Bruce? Lamar? I mean, that honeymoon of Khloé's is still going on, right?

___________

Before Keeping Up With the Kardashians premieres Sunday on E!, check out Khloé on the Karpet.

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Has Tiger Woods learned his effing lesson?

We've started to lose count (think it's around 13 now?), but many of Woods' supposed flings have come forward alleging they've schtupped the pro and married golfer. This much is as clear as Tiger's tarnished image.

Now, you'd think that Tiger "Cheetah" Woods would have exiled his supposed mistresses once they started going public, but we've learned that might not be the case...

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Flynet

Dear Ted:
What is really going on with the Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon's fauxmance? Was the breakup staged? The same week they were promoting a movie/dvds/products just temporary to gain convenient publicity or is it permanent? Will they resurface married, or are we free of ever having to see their boring tricks again? Nothing can surprise me about this manufactured showmance at this point, but I hope it ends soon.
—Mika

Dear Rekindled Loves:
I'm just as curious as you, babe. And what makes you so certain it's totally fake, anyway? Reese and Jake both get a lot out of their relaysh, so it would surprise me if this was it for them.

Dear Ted:
Greetings from a wintry London. All the fuss about Tiger Woods got me thinking about Blighty's most popular and high-profile sportsman—a man well known in the States. He has had mistress problems in the past, but he seems to have turned over a new leaf in the past few years. Except I don't believe a leopard changes his spots that easily. How does he keep his more recent conquests from going to the press, confidentiality agreements maybe?
—Loulou

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Something our dear, closeted Toothy Tile most certainly does not share with his also-in-the-closet brethren like Lloyd Boy-Toyed, Crotch Uh-Lastic and Jackie Bouffant is a virtual cornucopia of straight buds.

I don't mean the pretend kind, but the ones you never see Toothy photographed with. Yeah, you heard me right: These are heterosexual bros with whom Toothy loves to shoot the shit, have a few brews, talk about the broads, all that 100-percent-cotton American man stuff Toothy just can't seem to let go from his, like, totally gay life.

OK, it's cool, I have tons (maybe a few) gay friends who are completely into the SUVs/watching sports/unshowered thing, maybe it's not so completely weird that Toothy's wired that way a little, too?

But what's wacko is when these boy-buds o' Toothy's start, shockingly...

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Holly Sampson, the porn actress who bragged on camera about how she "f--ked Tiger Woods," has now released a statement via her attorney about the whole sex incident.

Sampson had been giving the old "no comment" line to reporters until the video hit the web yesterday. And now? 

Well, the peroxide blonde is spewing a whole different tune...

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