The Awful Truth

Sony Pictures

"Everybody knows they have to die. And I have this theory that deep down in our consciousness we know it came very close to happening in our history."

—2012's mastermind and director, Roland Emmerich, talking about his end o' days baby with John Cusack and Amanda Peet that opens Friday.

Gosh, do you think Roland was referring to when George W. Bush was president? That's certainly the darkest hour that comes to our minds first.

By the way, def see 2012, not only is it the best Cusack's been in eons, the movie's a friggin' pile of blitzed-to-smithereens fun, for sure.

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For your hit-and-miss movie guide head on over to the Lyons Den.

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As our darling (and far less nefarious) colleague Kristin Dos Santos has spilled along with us, it's getting deadly over on Desperate Housewives' soapy Wisteria Lane. And now we know some of who, exactly, is getting offed.

This is all, of course, for the big finale this season, you know. Something to keep you sipping copious amounts of eggnog throughout the holidays while you wait to see just how all the fortysomething babes cope with the tragic occurrences caused by a plane crash right in front of their pretty picket fences.

Are you ready? BIGASS SPOILER ALERT, 'cause it sure ain't pretty. And it sure ain't who you'd suspect:

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After Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were finally snapped holding hands yesterday leaving Paris, everyone's wondering—are they coming out? As a couple, that is.

Our Twilight sources are hardly shocked over the PG PDA over in France. They tell us that Robsten were pretty cuddly during their French photo-call at the Crillon Hotel yesterday afternoon, too...

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A lot of people have asked whether we love or hate Nikki Reed. Through all our cryptic coding it's confusing, yes. 

First of all, we don't give people a hard time whom we don't actually enjoy. That certainly includes Nikki. Sure, we'll joust her for her not exactly subtle Robert Pattinson digs (after all, there's lots of drama that did or did not go down with Robki), but at the end of the day, this is a very, very smart girl. And we want to give her credit when due. 

And of course, we have gabs of Nikki musings from the New Moon press party we simply must get to, like what Nik thinks of her legions of haters...

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Tony Barson/Getty Images; Edward Opinaldo/PacificCoastNews.com

Dear Ted:
Can we take a break from the teenage heartthrobs for a bit so I can inquire about a serious actor? One of my faves actually...Benicio del Toro. Ever been a B.V.? Any dirt? I realize he's not the young star du jour (hello R.Pattz) but he's an Academy Award winner and talent is still sexy...right? Thanks!
—Charlotte 

Dear Old School:
Yes, the muy talented Oscar winner is not only a Blind Vice alum, he's also a notorious worshipper of supersexy chicks who wear ever more superhigh stilettos! What is about high heels that turn straight guys on so much? Do they secretly want to wear them? 

Dear Ted:
So first, I wanted to congratulate you for your column, I check it every day. I don't know if this has been asked before but is Toothy Tile Chace Crawford? Because he kinda has the gay vibe going on, doesn't he?
—M_adriana

Dear Chace-ing for T.T.:
Wrong vice for Chacey!

Dear Ted:
I noticed that some of the gossip sites have picked up on the comments made by K.Stew about "I'm with him, I'm not with him, I'm a lesbian"...implying that she is, in fact gay. Do you think she will have to fess up one way or the other? Will Summit wring her neck for that statement? The suits must be s--ting a blue bean. By the way, you seem happier, I am happy for you.
—Sally 

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LIAM DANIEL

Let me just say off the bat, I have never seen High School Musical 1, 2 or 8. I'm one of those people who will automatically dislike someone or something if it's overexposed (except you R.Pattz...heart ya).

That's how I felt about Zac Efron initially. I just didn't get what the hype was about aside from his too perfectly placed hair.

Then I saw Zac do Saturday Night Live, which he rocked, and also saw his schtick on Entourage. That's what made me start to realize he wasn't another teenybopper douche bag and actually had a sense of humor. Hence, when I shamelessly became a Zefron fan.

So I gladly took the opportunity recently to go screen Z.E.'s new film, Me and Orson Welles, otherwise known as the movie where Zac Efron tries to act.

Here's what you can expect:

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Kimberly French/ Summit Entertainment

"We didn't know what this would become, in a way. We were just actors who fell in love with a script, and within doing that...It's not like a Marvel hero where you know Green Lantern or Captain America, whoever it is, is gonna be famous right off the block. With us, we fell in love with our characters and kind of looked at this as just another job."

—Kellan Lutz refreshingly thanks the Twi-hards for what he's been gifted. After all, since Kel literally has two lines in New Moon, he's gotta be grateful for the avid fan base. Oh, whatever. We could watch buff-boy Lutz read the phonebook for all we care

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Check out some pics of our fave vamps in our New Moon: World Tour Madness gallery!

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We told you the romantic city of Paris might be what Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart needed to get in the mood.

Robsten were just spotted holding hands as they were getting ready to board a private jet at Le Bourget airport tonight leaving France.

This is hardly the first time the two have been caught in public hand-holding, but it is the first time they've been pictured. And seriously, this is like the oldest form of romance if you ask us. Way more meaningful than playing tonsil-hockey in public.

So speak up, Robsten naysayers: Is this good enough for ya?

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Rob and Kristen so are dating. Peep our other fave Vamp Lovers.

Jerritt Clark/Getty Images; AP Photo/Matt Sayles

Christina Aguilera was looking more made-up than evah on Sunday, out to lunch with her lovely fam and a couple friends at Houston's restaurant in Santa Monica. While most people prefer to keep Sunday casual, we're told Xtina still piled on the makeup.

The group was having their lunch in a secluded booth upstairs, and Aguilera's son, Max, being the energetic bugger that he is, jumped around on everyone at the table. Once done with lunch, they sneaked out through the back entrance.

The only other people who might have seen her were a grandma-grandpa couple sitting upstairs at the opposite end of the room, so C.A. probably got the privacy she wanted.

Another gal not exactly flying under the radar was...

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Tara Reid was lunching with her girlfriends in Miami the other day and just happened to use her hands, all animatedly and such. And there appeared to be a pink dog turd surrounded by rhinestones on her ring finger.

Perhaps the first question should be: Would you say "yes" to anyone who proposed with that gaudy-awful thing?

Although we're skeptical that it is indeed an engagement ring, we put in calls to Tara's reps—but have yet to hear back. Supposedly some posh lunchers behind Reid overheard the once-doable blonde talking about her supposed engagement to billionaire boyfriend Michael Axtmann.

We're chalking this one up to Tara dying for a wee bit of publicity. And looks like we're giving it to her, so the joke's on us.

What do you think: Do diamonds flatter Miss (or soon to be Mrs.) Reid?

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Check out other questionable hotties in our Would You Do…? Gallery! 

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Although Twilight and New Moon screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg played coy when Marc Malkin asked whether she would write the screenplay for Breaking Dawn last month, we were able to confirm from our studio sources that she will, in fact, be back to write the fourth script—and possibly the fifth.

It's still up in the air whether B.D. will be two movies—hence why everyone dodged any questions about the fourth flick during the New Moon junket.

During the press conference a reporter asked Kristen Stewart about the possibility of two movies, but the mic was immediately pulled away as the intermediary guy said "next question."

So what's the latest on the fourth Twilight flick? And will New Moon's Chris Weitz direct?

Here's what we could squeeze out of the cast:

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Not-so-shocking news: We're hearing that Carey Hart, mostly known for being Pink's on-and-off hubby, may have been secretly getting his flirt on with a poker dealer in Las Vegas, according to the boobalicious babe's buds. Oh, my. From bitchin' and fun, sexy musical groundbreaker to a...card dealer. Interesting choice, there, Carey.

It was only this past May that reunited (and never legally divorced) Pink and Hart said "everything's perfect" in their relationship and that they couldn't live without each other.

Well, it seems like Vegas-vixen Lindsey Hanson has a little something to say about that...

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