Jakey Gyllenhaal’s a Jittery Juror
Wonder what got Jake Gyllenhaal so riled up he just kicked that cameraman while doing jury duty? Sure enough, J.G. was just holed up at the Clara Shortridge Foltz criminal courthouse in downtown L.A. for a day and change, appearing as a potential juror on a misdemeanor battery case.
Reese's man-sized handbag was starting to get anxious at the possibility of being cast as a juror. Actually, doesn't look good for any justice to get served, I'll tell ya that much; here's why:
"He kept fidgeting and looking around the courtroom," a source squawked to us about Mr. G.'s slightly stooped appearance downtown. Guess Jakey doesn't know what to do with his hands when he's not holding a vanilla latte, a dog leash or Witherspoon's tiny paw in it? Just a thought, nothing more.
Continued our insider on a sad-lookin' Jakey-poo: "You could tell he really wants to leave."
Well, duh. No one wants to be there. But nonetheless, probably the first time Jake's felt like a normal dude in years. And he could use some free time from being a PDA machine. But Gyll-hon was dismissed, led away by sheriff and court escorts. "It seemed like he had more security today than yesterday," said our source. "Definitely the star treatment."
Rest assured J.G. spent his few hours of normal-guy time wisely: snacking on some sneaked-in munchies and reading a script. Could it be a sequel to The Juror? Or Brokeback Mountain, perhaps? I mean, Milk is such a hit, right? Doesn't that mean the market's ripe for some sort of homo-franchise to be brought out?
And who cares if Jake died in the movie? That's what prequels are for! Oh, never mind, it was probably some kind of anger management pamphlet disguised inside a script folder, don't you think?
—Additional reporting by Becky Bain and Whitney English
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